Overcoming Loneliness

Overcoming loneliness is a natural part of the human experience. I know, I’ve been there.

At some point in all of our lives we will have and struggle with the natural emotions of loneliness. It’s normal. We tend not to think about that sometimes. Loneliness is an emotion. It’s that simple. We sometimes forget that we are social animals at heart. It’s true that we all need that support system of family, friends and our peers in order to keep our wits about us. However, millions of people out there assume they have no one to turn too.

Those are the people I reach out too most through this blog.

People need people. Even if we don’t like to admit it at times. We have an innate deep seeded desire or dependency to form relationships in which we give as well as take. It’s this very mutual “interdependency” that helps us maintain to flow of harmony between us and the others we share this planet with.

Loneliness and isolation can be a huge problem in our lives at times. However, you can learn to overcome this situation EVEN if you have convinced yourself that there is no hope. I assure you that, you are wrong. Most of the time, when you dig really deep, you will find that you are the one that created that isolation as a direct result of the FEAR you feel inside. The core issue I have found in coaching literally hundreds of people from all walks of life is in developing the right skills to deal with those core fears that control you. Sound familiar? If it does, Click Here.

Loneliness, is NOT something to feel ashamed of. It’s not something to fear either. You can overcome the isolation you feel. There is hope. It’s all around you at this very minute, you are just unable to see it in your current state of mind. What is most important to understand is that it’s never too late. You have to take action and begin taking intelligent steps toward getting out of the rut you are in. This might require some help from someone who’s been there before you. Don’t be afraid to ask for help either. It could be the greatest gift you’ve ever given yourself. At least it was for me.

On the surface level, you can try to face your fears and begin to develop meaningful, more productive relationships with a new network of friends (like the good people who visit this blog) that will help support you emotionally by the very nature of them being present in your life. That works for most. but remember, to have good friends, we must BE good friends. That’s where a lot of us fail. We tend only to think of ourselves and we get greedy and before long, the whole situation becomes so negative that no one wants anything to do with us. I’ve been there myself. But that is how we learn to be good friends. We learn by our mistakes and we pick ourselves up and keep going. Taking with us the lessons we have learned.

One of the most important lessons you can ever learn is that “We teach people HOW to treat us”. If we treat people with kindness and respect that is “usually” what will be returned in like kind. But the reverse is also true. A lesson that is hard to learn for so many. I watch people suffer in their lives daily with this very problem they create for themselves. I had to learn the hard way and I am sure some of them will as well. It’s all a part of the process we call “life”.

Overcoming loneliness is not an impossible task. If you have given it a real honest try by first putting yourself out there and trying to establish new and meaningful relationships, then it might be time to seek some help. Don’t be afraid. Swallow the pride and your ego and reach out for a helping hand to guide you. I learned when I was in therapy years ago that we each have our own individual tolerance levels which are usually based on our previous experiences and our ego strengths. This very fact is what keeps most of us from ever getting the help we truly need.  My advise would be to surrender. Just let go and let life flow.

I’m not pretending that any of this is going to be easy. It’s not. But making the intelligent decision to take action and to be open and receptive to others, and optimistic and resilient in the face of our difficulties is what truly separates the” mice from the men”, so to speak. The rewards can be life changing.

If you have the courage to take that first step.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, please “Speak Your Mind” below. Reach out to me if you have no one else and I promise to respond.