5 Ways to Prevent Self-sabotage in 2010
January 1, 2010 by Steven Diamond
Filed under Daily Blog, Dr. Sunny Massad, Guest Bloggers, Uncategorized
This year, we are introducing some great new, innovative and exciting features to StopStressingNow.Com. The first of those being “Guest Bloggers.” Each week, we will introduce you to someone special who has something of real value to contribute to your life. The first of those being Dr. Sunny Massad of Hawaii.
Dr. Sunny Massad is the President and Founder of the Hawaii Wellness Institute, author of “UnTherapy”, and runs a busy private practice as a counselor specializing in stress-related issues in Honolulu Hawaii. We asked her to help us start the new year off right by providing us with “5 Ways to Prevent Self-sabotage in 2010″.
Here are her expert suggestions: Dr. Sunny Massad –
Getting ready to make a New Year’s resolution or are you “over it” because they don’t work out anyway? Here are a few ways to keep yourself on track in 2010.
1. Instead of trying to stay positive, try validating the “negative” feelings that lurk in the shadows. What sounds like “whining” is sometimes simply a call for attention! Whining can be attempted communications from your soul to bring awareness that you have needs that are apparently not being met. If you are complaining about someone else, you’ve either got to communicate with them, back away from them, or shift your beliefs about them so that you can make your peace that “this is the way they are.” In short: love them or leave them!
2. Are you sick of repeating the same old story over and over again? Refuse to repeat it. What happened in your past cannot be changed. But the meaning you make of that past is up to you. You have a choice of victimizing yourself over and over again with those memories, or you can identify the lessons you learned from that past and move on! Stay focused in the moment. Find a way to become “stuck in your story no more.”
3. If we were to put a microphone up to your brain when you were talking to yourself, would we hear a supportive voice of praise or would we hear the wrath of self-criticism? Practice reversing old damage from those who once criticized you. The longer you repeat what they told you, the longer you will continue to give them power over you. Learn to praise yourself for your own personal admissions and insightful thoughts.
4. If you find yourself complaining about parts of yourself that you mercilessly judge, you have the power to transform your judgments by turning them into goals. For example, if you wish you were in better physical condition, instead of feeling victimized by your own apathy, ask yourself what you want instead of a lousy body and body image and create a step-by-step daily plan to get yourself there.
5. If you are not arriving at the door of 2010 living the life that you want to live, you are not alone. Most people live lives they accept until they outgrow the routines that once worked but no longer do. Break your goals into small steps that you can manage. And hold yourself accountable. If you want to break old patterns, do everything you say you want to do whether you feel like it or not. Your self-esteem will rise and your self-respect will grow. That is how you can best align your daily life with your values. Go for it. If you drop the ball, and God knows we all drop the ball sometimes, pick it back up. Do it for yourself so you can die with a sense of integrity when it’s your time to go!
Dr. Sunny Massad is the President and Founder of the Hawaii Wellness Institute, author of UnTherapy, and runs a busy private practice as a telephone counselor specializing stress-related issues in Honolulu Hawaii. For more information: www.untherapy.com or www.hawaiiwellnessinstitute.org
Interesting post on self-sabotage which helps but also doesn’t. My experience of self-sabotage is that a) most of the time I don’t realise I’m self-sabotaging and b) when I do realise it, changing or challenging it is difficult as it requires you to change how you see the world (your world).
I think it’s key to notice the negativity going on in your world. It might help you to understand the source of that negativity, too. And then it’s just as important for you to take small steps in making the changes necessary – some of which are mentioned above.
The truth is though, and I’m no expert in ‘fixing’ self-sabotage, that self-sabotage really is a custom-made job and it requires custom-made solutions – a custom-made solution for one, you!
Thanks for talking about this important, life-limiting subject Steven
Steve
Thank you for that post. These same steps work for the majority of people the majority of the time. I seem to live outside the majority! I have spent years seeking my own answers, maybe some of what I write will resonate with you also.