Children as Teachers – Part 2

“Why does it matter?”

- Michael Beck – age11

I have setup my office with my children’s desk and computer next to mine. It not only allows me to keep track of what my children are doing on the computer but also allows me to spend time with them. The other day Michael was playing a game on the computer across the internet with one of his friends and they were also talking on the speaker phone. I was typing away and listening to their conversation, which can often be entertaining.

During this particular conversation they started talking about what they were going to do and bring to another friends birthday party later on in the afternoon. During the conversation Michael’s friend ask him; “Are you going to any of the other birthday parties?” Michael responded; “No!” and there was a long pause and then they said see you later at the party, and hung up. He then continued on with his game.

My curiosity was up, who was having the other birthday parties? Where they friends? Had Michael been invited? So I asked Michael; “How come you didn’t ask who the other people having birthday parties were?” Michael responded; “Why does it matter? I’m not invited.” Now another long pause came from me. My brain started rewiring as it was encountering another “AH-Ha” moment.  I responded; “It does not matter and you’re very smart about the way you think.” Michael said; “I know.” Michael then continued on with his game.

Raising children has been a wonderful experience for me. The more I work at using a positive parenting style, the more I find that my parenting advice and parenting tips actually come from my children. My children give me the lead on what is important and needed in their life. Lately, when I have been thinking of stress and its causes, I find that looking to my children as teachers has given some very insightful solutions to reducing stress and reducing fear.

In this example with Michael, I relearned that there is no value in asking or wondering about questions that I can do nothing about. In fact, each of these questions, wonders and worries adds just a little stress to my life, stress which starts to become big after I do it thousands and thousands of times. As an adult I often forget what the big picture is and get carried away in the details that I believe to be important as well as the details that serve no purpose. Michael was right when he did not want to know more information. Why would he want those extra thoughts, stress and worry which add no value to his life?

Children as teachers, is an interesting concept for receiving parenting help on child rearing. I will keep watching for examples to use and relay to you. For now, I am going to take Michaels golden advice whenever I start thinking too much and just ask; “Why does it matter?”  I think my life is going to be simpler and more stress free, how about yours?

I have installed an “Ask Nurse Nancy” webpage at http://www.NurseNancyBeck.com Feel free to ask for addition information on ways to reduce child stress, child fear, child worries or just gain a few parenting tips or a little parenting advice to encourage and guide your kids. You will also find my book there: “Pillow Talk: Loving Affirmations to Encourage and Guide your Children”.

Blessings of happiness,

Nurse Nancy Beck