How To Cope With Being Passed Over For Promotion

By Guest Blogger: Tony Deblauwe

Have you recently been passed over for promotion? Seeing a peer being offered advancement opportunities while your career seems stuck in a rut can be an unpleasant experience. This is especially true when you consider your skill set and commitment to be equal to (or better than) that of your promoted coworker. Coping with the emotional fall out of this situation requires objective self examination and good communication. Stressing out about your capabilities and worth isn’t effective either so the best thing to do is find out what happened and get feedback.

Talking to Your Boss

Storming into your manager’s office and demanding an explanation for why you weren’t chosen is a bad idea for obvious reasons. Someone who can’t stay in control of their emotions isn’t ready for additional responsibilities. On the other hand, trying to figure out “what went wrong” all on your own is a sure way to become paranoid and depressed. So, it is OK to talk to your boss about how the decision to promote a peer was reached – once you have calmed down. Here’s an example of a respectful way you can talk to your boss that may shed some light on what’s holding you back in terms of your career:

“I know that making assumptions often leads to disappointment, but I was surprised when my peer was offered this project (or promotion) instead of me. I think he/she will do a great job; but I was wondering how that decision was reached so I can step up my game for the next time an opportunity presents itself. Could we look at my last few performance reviews together and identify areas where I can show more leadership?”

This approach lets your boss know 3 things:

• You are actively seeking advancement and your potential shouldn’t be ignored
• You are willing to make changes to become a better candidate for promotion
• You have the emotional maturity to work through a problem instead of becoming frustrated and giving up

Why Were You Passed Over for Promotion?

It might be that a strong mentoring relationship is missing from your career. This is often true if you see that a peer who is not necessarily “better” at their job but who has the right connections gets promoted faster than you. While this may not seem fair, it is true that the further up the corporate ladder you climb the better you have to be at networking. You might as well start now by finding a mentor.

One mindset you want to stay away from is the belief that you are being discriminated against based on being (or not being) a member of a protected group. Unless there is a clear pattern or evidence of this behavior in your organization, going down that road is not helpful for your career. It is more likely that there are practical reasons why your boss perceives one of your peers as having the best skills for a particular job.

Keep Your Chin Up

Occasionally, there comes a point where the powers that be simply have to make a decision between two equally qualified candidates. If your boss indicates that this was the case, don’t despair. There will be more opportunities in the future and one of them will have your name on it. In the meantime, make a list of all the talents and abilities you bring to your job that no one else does and in parallel, don’t fall into the trap of comparing against your peer. Focus on yourself and leverage your internal networks to keep what you do and who you are top of mind.

Listen To An Amazing Live Interview With Tony About Workplace Stress – Click Here!

Mr. Tony Deblauwe

Tony Deblauwe is a Workplace Expert based in the San Francisco Bay Area.
He is an award-winning and regular contributor to career social networks sites
such as Brazen Careerist and TrackAhead. He directs the Innovation
Committee for Career Directors International.

For more information on Tony, please visit: http://www.workbabble.com