The Relaxed Rush
October 23, 2011 by Steven Diamond
Filed under Billy Sunday Mars, Daily Blog, Guest Bloggers
By Guest Blogger: Billy Sunday Mars
The what? Yes, you read it right, the title is the “Relaxed Rush”!
Is that possible, to rush and relax at the same time? Yes, it’s not only possible, it’s necessary.
I know what you’re thinking, you’re a guy, how would you know? I may not know the specifics but let’s take a shot at it. As a woman, let’s say a mom, you’ve got kids to get ready for school, soccer practice, violin lessons and did they do their homework? What about work- 9 to 5 plus- emphasis on the plus.
There’s bills that have to be paid. Gotto also try to fit in a work out so you can fit in the dress you just bought. Hair and make-up take up time that guys don’t have to worry about too. And how am I supposed to eat right running at 100 miles per hour? Close? From my experience, I’ve learned, “The fastest way to a mistake is to hurry up and get there!” Then, oh, by the way, then you have to do whatever it was you were trying to do in the right and fast in the first place a second time, or more.
With all this happening, how can I suggest relaxing in any way shape or form? Hey, I see how difficult it is for you. I feel for you. So the best thing that I can do for you is tell you, how you feel matters most- and stressing out does not feel good and it’s not good for you. Being in a state of distress is a bio-chemical physiological, psychosomatic bomb for your body and being. It literally eats you alive from the inside out. This means you are literally “killing yourself” in order, not only to make a living, but to live at all. Life presents a lot of, not only unnecessary but necessary pressure, let’s call it resistance. Yeah right, tell me about it? Ok I will. When I lived in China, my teachers taught me the more pressure, the more resistance, the more your need to relax to counterbalance it. Oh, like that’s possible? Yes, and again, necessary! Picture driving your car on the highway, doesn’t the slightest turn at the high speed make a big difference as opposed to in a parking lot? Even when you step on the gas while driving, the car speeds up not you. You don’t start moving faster in the car to keep up with the car. In fact, there is a Taoist understanding that no matter how fast the outer part of a wheel turns, the hub, the center must remain still. So there, that is the lesson, be still in the center. You’ve got to be as cool as an Oreo cookie- – because what makes an Oreo unique is its cool center with darkness all around it. In fact it’s so cool they made it Double Stuff cool. And that’s what I want for you. –With milk of course- Newman O’s with Soy for the vegetarians! Where was I? Oh yes….
Keeping cool in the center…Is it more difficult for a woman to keep cool? As a matter of fact, yes. As I’ve mentioned. A woman’s fight or flight center is half the size of the man’s because she was designed to take care of the home not emergencies. She does, however, have eight times the blood flow to that area as a man. This means trouble is turbo charged in the female brain. Her mind moves faster during and her poor body has to try and keep up. Plus, she has right brain creative capacity o she- ready- accessorizes the problem. This is why the “to do list” grows so fast. A woman’s mind not only as a constant to do list, she has a back up to do list and a refill for both of those ready because of the way her brain is set up. When she is stressed, unlike a man (and a man’s brain is pretty simple compared to a woman’s) who’s brain, in overwhelm, says sit down rest and rethink it, a woman’s brain says do more to take your mind off it. Yup, when stressed, a woman’s brain says do more to take your mind off of how much you have to do! It is important to realize this so you can work with yourself by saying, oh, I see what’s happening. It’s just my mind telling me this but it’s not really true. It’s just because I’m stressed.
So, how do you relax during a rush?
Step 1) Notice you are rushing. Notice the erratic energy you are investing into what you are doing. Here now, take the emphasis off of what you are doing and put it on how you are being while you are doing- whatever it is. Notice your shoulders. Are they up around your ears? Take a breath- inhale, then exhale and lower them while lifting your chin and as you do that, soften your stare! Then while your chin is lifted- like in CPR, take a deep breath with your airway open. Exhale slowly and as you do, visualize yourself sinking “back into your being”!
Step 2) Proceed with your, “process” remembering, whatever you’re doing is a process. And, as the journey is the destination, the process is the prize. Sink into getting better at the process and the prize will come better and faster on its’ own.
Step 3) Take a look at your to do list. Trade in the “to do” for an absolutely “must do”. Set it up into bite size mini lists and fold it over so only the few you must do are showing and the ones you “can also do” after the must do are showing. When you’re done with what you must do- if there’s time- move into what you can also do.
Step 4) Take what’s next on the list inject it into Step 2!
Step 5) Love yourself throughout!
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