It is widely known that over 90% of diseases have stress as their catalyst.
What hasn’t been realized is that when you’re stressed out, your growth system times out because your immune system is in “protect mode”. Being in protect mode is like being in constant duct tape therapy!
You’re either in in “growth mode” –growing younger or in “protect mode” and growth has stopped for repair. Growth mode is where you rebuild and build new cells, which due to hormonal issues, slows down as we age. If your system is repairing older dying or decaying cells, which are now known to be the breeding ground of cancer, it is not able to create new cells. This speeds up the aging process by- you guessed it- slowing down your hormonal process. Stress, actually distress and chronic stress, kills off oxytocin, estrogen and testosterone, the feel good, libido and metabolism boosters especially for women. What boosts your metabolism the most is your libido and libido and longevity go hand in hand.
Jung called libido “Adaptive Energy”! In other words, to the extent your libido is strong, you can adapt to difficulty before it becomes a stressor. To do this you must develop conscious energy, otherwise known as will. Will however is an exhaustible resource. Inspiration has an expiration date- or should I say hour. Stress eats away at your will, the very thing that you need to solve the problem causing the stress. When your will is low, stress is high and likewise, when stress is high, your will gets low. High stress lowers your will, raises cortisol and so causes depression. Did you know boredom can also raise cortisol?
Serotonin is the, “I feel safe and secure”- neuro-transmitter!
It is believed women require and use 6 times as much serotonin as men.
Did you know about 60 percent of women over 40 are on anti-depressants?
Sugary, starchy, fatty foods signal the brain and body to release serotonin and unbeknownst to many, that 60 percent of serotonin is actually produced in our gut. Because our gut is closely linked to our decision making area- (hence the terms gut check and gut feeling) – and reward center of our brain, the desire for sugary, starchy serotonin increasing foods can literally be “overwhelming”. Our emotional brain, to which women have eight times the blood flow of men in times of real or perceived danger-, is many thousands of times stronger than our rational brain which- by the way, actually needs glucose (blood sugar) to function in good decision making -ouch! That’s a lot like needing your glasses to find your glasses! You know that sudden, often unexplainable occurrence of crankiness that creeps in women without warning? Well, we just explained it. This is the real culprit in the low blood sugar mood altering and ensuing couples- let’s say disagreements, ok arguments- that has unfortunately and prevent ably ruined many a relationship. If someone’s decision making capacity is decreased, their choice of words to express themselves or their needs may be hampered. Their body and brain are on an emotional drive for food, without the rational brake center of their brain to help them. Do you realize how difficult this is for a woman – especially not realizing what or why this happens to her?
We all know- men and women, particularly the female and male brain -have their differences but, this one may be the most significant reason for the notable differences in female- male weight gain. The reason I say this is because in an attempt to increase serotonin, to increase their “subconscious” feeling of safety and security, women also often crave comfort foods. The problem with seeking serotonin through those released via comfort foods is, of course, the obvious caloric cost. Add to that the stress involved from “not feeling safe and secure, the subsequent release of the stress hormone cortisol which is notorious for creation and retention of belly fat and the “terrible trifecta” is complete.
I watched an episode of Doctor Oz recently where he had a group of women on who were at their emotional end about how to get rid of their belly fat. It is very difficult, beyond psychologically, for a woman to so negatively watch her body change so let’s first take a moment here to empathize. Typically as a woman’s weight goes up, her self-esteem, her self-worth, goes down. Beyond anything a husband or boyfriend can say, for her, walking into a store and asking for- “the next size up” from last time- can be emotionally traumatic. Try to understand that when a woman gains weight around the middle it changes her symmetry which her system, at a subconscious level, knows is detrimental beyond immediate health, to her attractiveness to a partner or potential partner. Evolutionary Psychology has made it quite clear that it is not so much a younger but a healthier partner that is sought by a potential male mate. As a woman ages her hip to waist ratio, the golden measurement, changes. She tends to get thicker around her waist and loses muscle and muscle tone in her hips, further influencing a change in the youthfulness of her appearance. No amount of patronizing from friends or even a devoted mate can change the look she wants to receive from admirers, especially that devoted mate.
The what? Yes, you read it right, the title is the “Relaxed Rush”!
Is that possible, to rush and relax at the same time? Yes, it’s not only possible, it’s necessary.
I know what you’re thinking, you’re a guy, how would you know? I may not know the specifics but let’s take a shot at it. As a woman, let’s say a mom, you’ve got kids to get ready for school, soccer practice, violin lessons and did they do their homework? What about work- 9 to 5 plus- emphasis on the plus.
There’s bills that have to be paid. Gotto also try to fit in a work out so you can fit in the dress you just bought. Hair and make-up take up time that guys don’t have to worry about too. And how am I supposed to eat right running at 100 miles per hour? Close? From my experience, I’ve learned, “The fastest way to a mistake is to hurry up and get there!” Then, oh, by the way, then you have to do whatever it was you were trying to do in the right and fast in the first place a second time, or more.
When the Little Blue Pill for him doesn’t mean a Red Hot Thrill for her!
By Guest Blogger: Billy Sunday Mars
I know my book is called Fit for Love, however it is important to realize it was also written to provide people with an opportunity to get fit “from” love as well. That said, I say, “What you do not do to help yourself you do to hurt yourself!” For over a decade, men who may have thought there sex life was dead, have experienced a resurrection or should I say re-erection? Though I still feel there are psychological, emotional and physical issues that still need to be looked into- Viagra, Cialis and Levitra -have allowed men to –get “back in the saddle again”. Yet there is another issue lurking beneath the surface of this somewhat superficial cure for sexual issues. Often overlooked for women is the “still” stressful issue involving being intimate with their husband or boyfriend who, even with “the pill” can’t provide the thrill for her. This is unfortunately a highly overlooked problem. My playful expression of this is just because a man takes the pill and has a better erection doesn’t make him a better lover any more than giving him a better golf club makes him a better golfer. –I used to say makes him Tiger Woods but –well can’t use that one really anymore huh?
It’s now an age old story- average women trying to compete with the airbrushed “girl on the Magazine Cover” or TV star. Somehow the media has convinced, even the most intelligent, woman that thin is in and has always been. Now she tries to eat healthy often with kids that don’t like to, get them to and from school and nowadays hold down a job “and” try to find the time to work out. Seems the attempt be healthier somehow creates more of the stress she’s trying to relieve that takes years off her life and puts pounds on. Want some reprieve? As a trainer of exotic dancers and models, I’ve noticed very few men, unless they are dating the model, or excuse the expression; “not really into women”, show up at modeling shows- strip bars- another story, but- an important observation. The truth is, most of the time, men are not attracted to skinny jean wearing women or models.
As Chivalry is not Dead, -Dear Damsels, I feel it is my duty- and honor of course, to rescue you from being involuntarily vexed especially by the viscerally experienced vicissitudes of stress- how or wherever they may occur. I feel I can best do this by first informing you– there is a difference between stress and distress. Dare I say stress is actually ‘good’ for you as a signal of a ‘possible impending danger’ until it becomes distress. As Carl Jung said, “If you don’t take the hint, you may and most unfortunately- take the hit!” Being in distress means you didn’t stop the stress as a hint, a seed and took the hit as it took root becoming a weed that spread throughout your system. This led to the jittery, uptight, tense, all too familiar feelings, otherwise known as being “stressed out”.
I hear and see it all the time- women’s distress! In the face of the torrid pace of modern living that keeps them so in their heads – women are unable to “just be in their bodies”! Women’s inability to neither express nor even experience their femininity is turning “the Garden” into a desert. The colors are fading-and her bruised world- like her psyche has been replaced with business blues, blacks, browns and greys. And the beautiful scents that once danced on the breeze -the perfumes – have been replaced with smell of printer ink and Peet’s Coffee.
Many women say they avoid the sadness and are afraid if they actually allowed themselves to truly feel into themselves, into their bodies – they would realize and have to acknowledge the damage and neglect our way of life has inflicted upon them. Consequently, they realize, this lack of, being in their bodies has robbed them of the energy they need to, not only make it through a busy work day but, deal with the tasks and turmoil that awaits them at the rest stop they call home. They feel the energy drain and the physical and emotional pain of “having to work rather than wanting to” in jobs that feel unfulfilling and unrewarding. When a woman does what she has to-rather than- what she wants to- she regrets and this causes her tremendous stress and strain, taking a multi-dimensional toll on her. Somehow, women have gotten the wrong impression.
A key to getting Fit for Love is learning how to “Stress Less and Love Yourself More!” Today’s woman is under the gun and the fight or flight center of her brain is firing more than ever. She is not only feeling and experiencing the stresses of life at home but in the field and “more” than a man doing the same job. The result of this is the release of a nasty little hormone called cortisol that can cause her to gain weight, lose sleep, premature aging and even lose hair. The rise of cortisol in a woman’s system is one of the main reasons why her sex drive slows down or screeches to a blinding halt. Not only that, cortisol circulates within a female for, not just hours but, sometimes even a day longer than a male. While no amount of anti-wrinkle cream in the world can help her as she ages from the inside out, there are some things she can do to stop the stress cycle, slow down the aging process and resurrect her love life. So what can she do? What are a few things that can be done each day to make the biggest difference for her?
Let’s take a moment to get you in the know.