Sure, you could say it seemed like a pretty miserable failure. I only ran four blocks. For some reason, though, I didn’t see it that way. To me, I had done something fabulous. I got up and RAN. Yes, only four blocks, but the distance wasn’t the point. I didn’t expect to get very far. I decided to focus on the victory in the situation: I followed through on a promise to myself!
As I continued to get up each morning to run, I started going further and further each day, just a little bit more every time. In the beginning I added just one block a day to my distance. Soon I was able to add two blocks, and later still I added more distance until I made it up to 3 miles.
Wow! Miles. I was running for miles at a time! At this point, my family began to get used to the idea of me running, but I certainly didn’t have a picture of myself as a real runner. Sure, I got up five days a week to do it, but I was just a beginner.  The other people who passed me by in their $40 shorts and $100 sneakers were the real runners. Me? I was just a guy trying to lose some weight.
It’s hard to believe that was 10 years ago. By now I’ve run hundreds of races, completed 2 marathons (both in a very average 4 hours 25 minutes), and turned in countless hours on the treadmill. It sort of sounds like I’m a real runner now doesn’t it?
But here’s something to think about. I was a real runner the second I walked out that door on the first day. I wasn’t a fast runner and I didn’t have a lot of stamina, but I was up and running – and that’s what really mattered.  But I’m not writing this to impress anybody. Quite honestly my running isn’t that impressive.

What is important is the lessons I have learned.

• You are what you believe yourself to be.  I am real a runner now, and I was also a real runner on that first day.
• Determination counts for a lot. There were good running days and bad running days. But I kept running no matter what.
• A “savings account” mentality can make any big task seem achievable. I only added one more block in those early days. But only weeks later, all those extra blocks turned into miles.
• Pursuing a goal has unforeseen benefits. Sure I lost weight, but I also gained a greater level of fitness. I ate healthier. A daily dose of dopamine (which you naturally produce when you exercise) elevated my overall mood, so I become happier. I made friends at the gym. I hadn’t planned on any of these benefits.
• Success breeds success. I started thinking differently about myself. Instead of saying, “I can’t run a marathon,” I began asking, “I wonder if I could run a marathon?” And then, “How long would I have to train to run a marathon?” Eventually I ran a marathon.

Those are a few things I learned since that first morning 10 years ago. I’ve found that applying them to other areas of my life has lead to a lot of wonderful outcomes.

For now, forget about the running part.

Let’s look at the more general lessons:

• You are what you believe yourself to be
• Determination counts
• Making a little progress each day adds up
• Pursuing a goal has unforeseen benefits
• Success breeds success

I hope in 10 years you’ll look back and feel great about those first steps you took toward whatever goal you have for yourself. Like Gretchen Rubin says in her book The Happiness Project, “Days are long, but life is short.” Stop stressing and start  running to your goals now!
What do you perceive yourself to be? What might you accomplish if you simply take the first step and begin doing what you dream of, even if you do it badly at first?
Here’s to your success!

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Gordon Simmons and Tracy Brown, started Happiness Inside because they truly believe that when people turn their awareness inward, they can begin to discover how to become happier.  And I agree! Just like getting fit is no mystery, getting happier isn’t really complicated either. And yet, both can be difficult if you don’t have support, knowledge, drive, and a set of tools you can use to accomplish the job. So they started www.HappinessInside.com Because they know that when you are happier, so are your friends and family – and even their friends and family. What if we could get millions of people focusing on increasing their happiness? What wonderful ripple effect could be created in the world?

Imagine constantly trying to do something you’re not very good at, something that does not utilize your best strengths. Day after day, you struggle through. You might improve over time and learn skills you didn’t have before, but because the activity is not a core strength, you’ll expend a lot of time and energy only to meet with mediocre results at best. Like success author Jack Canfield says, it’s like driving a car with the emergency brake on.

But what if you decided to take that energy and use it to build on your strengths, something that is more natural for you? Imagine how far that might take you. Right now much of the world is watching the Olympics, and you can bet that the people who accept the gold on that podium know the benefits of capitalizing on their strengths.

You can benefit from the very same mindset. Make a decision now to understand your strengths, and then endeavor to use them, improve upon them, and benefit from them even more. Release the emergency brake!

Here are two things you can do right now to stop stressing and stay positive:

Number one: Take ten minutes or so and write down as many of your strengths as you can think of.  As my friend from Texas used to say:  “It ain’t braggin’ if it’s true!” Keep in mind that this exercise isn’t designed to turn you into a braggart. It will simply let you see on paper that you have many strengths. When you are done, your list might look something like this:

I am a good listener
I play the piano pretty well
I am a very safe driver
I am very good at hitting deadlines
I possess a great imagination
It’s easy for me to be a member of a team

And so on . . .

Your strengths can be somewhat general to very specific. When you have your list, take some time to reflect on what you do well, and then think of some ways you can use one of those strengths to your benefit. You can apply your strengths to your current job, to relationships, to activities, to community service, to any area of your life.

The purpose of this exercise is to get you focusing on what you are good at so that you can do more of it. That’s one way to stop stressing and to begin enjoying yourself more. The formula is simple: Do more of what you like and are good at, and do less of what you aren’t so good at.

As you employ this idea, you’ll constantly reinforce positive feelings you have about yourself, which will in turn make you feel better  You’ll find this repeating over and over.

The second activity you can do is to keep a success journal. Ideally every night take a few minutes and write down the successes you experienced throughout the day. Write down at least five. So often it’s easy to get caught up in what went wrong during the day; we forget about all the stuff that went right. Remind yourself in writing each night exactly what went right. Include both big and small successes. A night’s list might look like this:

1.      I got to work on time!
2.      I remembered to send Joe a birthday card.
3.      I made the sale!
4.      I made time for my son by playing his favorite a video game with him.
5.      I balanced my checkbook.

Constantly focusing on your weaknesses saps your energy and multiplies stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Focusing on your strengths won’t necessarily make your weaknesses go away, but it is always better to put positive energy to work in place of negative energy.

Author Mike Dooley is fond of saying “thoughts become things” and that is true. Each statement you make is a creation, and when you are involved in activities that do not tap into your core strengths you end up creating a lot of “I can’t. . .” and “I’m not . . .” thinking. Over time, those thoughts become your reality. Focusing on your strengths lets you choose to turn toward more empowering thoughts so they become your reality.

Everyone has strengths. Identify yours, and then get to work employing them every day and create the life you want to live.

Gordon Simmons and Tracy Brown, started Happiness Inside because they truly believe that when people turn their awareness inward, they can begin to discover how to become happier.  And I agree! Just like getting fit is no mystery, getting happier isn’t really complicated either. And yet, both can be difficult if you don’t have support, knowledge, drive, and a set of tools you can use to accomplish the job. So they started www.HappinessInside.com Because they know that when you are happier, so are your friends and family – and even their friends and family. What if we could get millions of people focusing on increasing their happiness? What wonderful ripple effect could be created in the world?

Gordon Simmons

Negative thoughts are constricting and unproductive. They make us give up before we’ve even tried. Positive thoughts, however, are uplifting and full of possibility. By continually choosing thoughts that support you rather than thoughts that bring you down, you will create a bias for positivity in your life and an openness, which will, in turn, create more experiences for you to feel good about.
We all have some self-doubt and negative chatter buzzing around in our heads. That’s natural. But when negative self-talk is allowed to build up, unchecked, it begins to distort our self-image. Without being aware of our negative self-talk, we can easily imagine it as truth. Before we know it, we actually begin to define ourselves by the negative thoughts we have. We start to believe those thoughts that say “I’m such an idiot!” or “I can’t do that!” or “I’m worthless.” That’s the bad news.

The good news is that you get to completely control those negative thoughts. After all, they come from your brain. Instead of getting crushed and distorted under the weight of negativity, you can choose to replace negative self-talk with self-talk that supports you. Here are three ways to go about that task.

1. Challenge the negative statements immediately. Whenever you hear yourself say something like “You know you’ll never get that promotion.” Challenge that thought. In her book Positivity, Dr. Barbara Fredrickson lists “Dispute Negative Thinking” as tool number five in her positivity tool kit.    That’s good advice. “Really?” you might ask. “And why not? I am good at what I do. I’ve been promoted in the past, and if I can figure out a way to stand out from the rest, I have every reason to believe I’d be considered for that promotion.”

Of course, the statements you make in your challenge must be true. Be very factual because your negative self-talk is not. It can’t stand up to truth. Challenging it will expose it for the falsehood it is.

2. Keep a daily journal of your successes—big and small. Of course you’ll want to write items down such as “I finally made that sale” or “My process improvement idea was implemented.” But you’ll also want to keep track of the more mundane successes as well. “I completed my portion of the project on time.” This is a success statement. “I made my son smile today” is another success statement. Keeping a journal of these will give you plenty of evidence to refute those negative thoughts. Success mentor and author Jack Canfield devotes an entire chapter of his The Success Principles to replacing negative statements with positive ones. The chapter is titled: Transform Your Inner Critic Into An Inner Coach. And why not. By replacing those negative thoughts with true supportive ones you become your own best advocate

3. Begin listing your strengths. Once again, for 30 days, take some time and really evaluate your strengths. You know you have them. If you have trouble thinking of some, ask your friends, family, and co-workers. Or look at your last employee evaluation. Listing your strengths in an honest, matter-of-fact way will help you to see how ridiculous negative self-talk is. You don’t have to make things up. You have lots of strengths. “I’m a great listener and friend” is a strength. “I can really cook.”  “I’m a good baseball coach.”  Doing these exercises each day for a period of time is important because each time you think of a strength you possess, you will have a positive emotional experience. These small experiences, over time, will truly make you happier. Author and Positive Psychology pioneer Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky has this to say in her book The How of Happiness: “Because positive emotions are typically short-lived many people believe they are trivial. This is a mistake. . . .moments of pleasure don’t just make you feel good. They broaden your horizons and build your social, physical, and intellectual skills.”
The overarching idea is to give more weight to the positive statements you can honestly make about yourself than you do the negative, false statements that pop in to your head.

Everyone experiences fear, doubt, and worry. The important thing to remember is that all that chatter in your head is just that—chatter. It is not truth. It is not you. It is habitual thinking that you can change if you make yourself aware and practice techniques like these.

We plan to learn the answer to that question in the coming months with new articles right here. Also by growing www.HappinessInside.com to the world’s largest social networking site devoted to personal happiness.  We invite you to come on over and see how our members are creating that ripple effect.