By Guest Bloggers -  Richard Zwolinski and C.R. Zwolinski

Here are five instant stress relievers, in no particular order…

1. Humor—Simple but foolproof. If you can poke a bit of fun at your stressful situation or your reaction to it, you’ll find you can diffuse a lot of the tension. If you can’t, Google some jokes and find one or two that tickle your funny bone.
2. Music—Studies have shown that listening to music that mirrors a depressed mood actually can lift a person out of symptoms of depression. However, when overloaded and stressed out, it is best to listen to whatever music you find soothing. If it has a slow beat (with or without percussion), even better. The beat will entrain your heart and slow down your pulse! Five minutes ought to do the trick.
3. Breathe—Dr. John Kennedy has written extensively about the use of breathing techniques to help heal stress-related heart problems. But if you need a quick fix, try this: Breathe in for the count of 4, out for the count of 7, pause for the count of 2. After three or four of these breaths you’ll notice a strong calming effect. The key seems to be in the lengthier exhalation, so if you want to , go ahead and experiment and find the exact ratio of inhalation and exhalation that works best for you.



4. Identify Your Stress Style—Are you a racing fire engine, a Tasmanian devil or more of a “grouch-potato”? Perhaps you turn into a limp soufflé or an ostrich with his head in the sand. Think about your “stress style”—what do you resemble when you’re under stress? Identifying how you react to stress and giving your reaction a funny name or description helps you step back and take a more objective look at what’s going on. Next time you’re facing meltdown, remember your stress style—and work on smoothing out the rough edges.
5. Touch—Reflexology, massage, and other healing touch heals stress and a host of problems, but what to do when you have less than five minutes? Borrow an acupuncture point from Chinese medicine. The “shen men” point seems to offer relief in most people. Hold your hand palm side up. Travel down from your pinky to where your wrist joins your hand and put gentle pressure or rub that spot for a few minutes. (Technically, the spot is on the transverse wrist crease in the small dip between the pisiform—the small pea-shaped bone—and ulna—the long, thin arm bone on aligned with the pinky).

For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

CLICK HERE to listen to an amazing interview with Dr. Richard Zwolinski!

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by Guest Bloggers Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC and C.R. Zwolinski

Many therapists are seeing growing numbers of people struggling with anxiety about how America’s (and the world’s), problems are affecting them.

Floods. Hurricanes. Tsunamis. Earthquakes. Volcanoes (both with pronounceable and unpronounceable names). Drought. Violence. Crime. Terrorism. Suicide Bombers. War. Child  Soldiers. Oil Spills. Global Warming. Global Cooling. Disease. Epidemics. Autism. Learning Disabilities. Physical Disabilities. Poverty. Hunger.  Economic Downturn. Unemployment. Job Instability. Debt. Bills. Abuse. Infidelity. Arguments. Divorce. Bullying. Traffic. (And the Loneliness. Sadness. Depression. Worry. Fear. Anxiety associated with them).

These are some of the topics many therapists are hearing about lately.

If you think about it, our minds are simply not big enough to comprehend the meaning of life and what appears to be a lot of life’s negativity.  So, we’d personally rather think about what is positive and reach out and act to fix what isn’t. Of course, this prescriptive focus does not preclude proper treatment for emotional issues.

However, when we participate in creating the solutions suddenly we see solutions everywhere.

Rescue Teams. Volunteers. Helping Hands. Thriving Wilderness and Parks. Neighborhood Watches. Doctors and Nurses. Teachers. Physical Therapy. Mental Health and Addiction Therapy. Food Programs. Interest-free Loan Funds. Clothing Deliveries. Investing in Children. Entrepreneurship and Small Business. Fiftieth Anniversaries. Taking care of others and ourselves. Corporate and Individual Charitable Donations. Religious Meeting Places. Families. Friends. Communities. Neighborhoods.

(Not watching or limiting television helps, by the way. So does creating healthy boundaries for what we read online and in print).

This article is a revised version of an article that appeared on the authors’ Therapy Soup blog at PsychCentral.com.

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By Guess Bloggers: Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC and C.R. Zwolinski

Our friend Rachel called the other day to vent. She had been stuck in a line in the DMV for nearly two hours only to find out when she got to the head of the line that she had to go home and bring in some documents. We sympathized. We’d been there.

One of the greatest sources of stress is what we call the PDF, or Power Differential Factor. It works like this:

In general, a person who has less relative power is under greater stress –
especially in personal and societal relationships—than someone who has greater relative power. Someone with greater relative power (depending on personality, cultural upbringing, the present situation), will generally have less reason to fear fallout from negative interactions than someone one with less power.

If you are in a position of power (or even if you aren’t), and have trouble imagining how those with less power feel, think of your last trip to the DMV or the Post Office (or any dealings you may have had with the IRS).

Now do you remember what it feels like to have less relative power? Think about the long lines and the unintelligible forms you have to fill in that seemed designed to trip you up! Think about the sheer amount of time you have to spend attending to these bureaucratic requirements. In these and other taxpayer-funded agencies the citizen has almost no power relative to the public employees whose salaries they pay.

In these situations, people you have had no previous relationship with, i.e. government bureaucrats, have been granted an incredible amount of control over your ability to travel or communicate with others or simply control over your time and the money you’ve earned! They are in power, you are not.

Power can be about control over others, but true power, the kind of power that gives us the deepest and longest lasting rewards, is the kind of power we have over ourselves. When we learn that we are able to control our desires, our thoughts, and even our reactions to the world, we have a gift that transforms and mitigates the stress caused by PDF and some cases, even nullifies it.

There are several ingredients necessary to upping our PDF quotient. In the West, and especially the United States, where authority and hierarchies are relatively fluid, two of the most important of these ingredients are:

Information and Education
(there are more ingredients, but we will only explore these, here due to space limitations).

Information, as we use it here, refers to current, relevant data (news, scientific discoveries, formulas, statistics, and so on), that gives us the facts we need to know to make intelligent, and powerful, decisions.

Education refers to the techniques and methods with which we make the information we have access to, useful.

Information and the education that helps us utilize it, are arguably the most important playing-field levelers in any democracy. If we look at totalitarian regimes, such as the former U.S.S.R., or the current regime in Iran, the powerful control not only access to information but also the content itself, thereby creating misinformation. Information and education becomes tools for the creation of and maintenance of power and control over others.

Though some argue that information overload produces stress, our opinion is that even massive amounts of information helps us maintain our power as citizens of the state as well as autonomous individuals. When access to information is combined with the necessary education that helps us discern what data is important and how to use the information once acquired, we gain power.

This helps us reduce stress due to the PDF.

Listen To A Live Interview With Dr. Zwolinski By Clicking Here!

For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

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By Guest Blogger:  Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC and C.R. Zwolinski

How we handle stress is due in large part to how healthy our sense of self is.  A healthy sense of self exhibits

• a balanced blend of humility and confidence
• a respect for others and  self-respect
  
• an awareness of one’s own strengths—and acknowledgment of one’s weaknesses
• resolve to accept what can’t be changed—with ourselves , others, and the world— as well as a dedication to improving oneself.

This is a tall order and no one is perfect. But it is essential that we all try to work on this balance if we are to have healthy relationships and a sense of meaning in our lives—two key factors in helping us cope with inevitable stress.

This is summed up nicely in our tradition. A wise teacher (Rabbi Bunim of Peshischa; 1765-1827) said everyone should have two pockets, each one containing a slip of paper. On the first slip should be written, “I am but dust and ashes”, and one the other, “The world was created for me.”

One of the failures of Western culture, especially some aspects of American culture, is that it encourages the belief in “the world was created for me” without encouraging the belief that we aren’t immortal or perfect, that is, “I am but dust and ashes”. Some of the weaknesses of the extreme adherence to what can be called the “self-esteem movement” are that success (of various kinds) is worshiped, failure is almost always re-labeled “success,” and one is taught to love and rely on self above all others—“trust your gut instincts”, “follow your heart,” “honor your feelings,” and so on. But what if your instincts are simply inaccurate or off-base? What if your heart leads you to indulge in unhealthy desires? What if your feelings demand that you hurt or negate others or focus on self to the exclusion of all else?

A total adherence to putting self first creates unrealistic expectations which lead to dissonance between the self and the outside reality, or in simpler terms, life. If I am so great, how come I…got sick? Failed to get into the college of my choice? Can’t sustain a relationship? Work hard but still can’t afford to take a vacation or buy a house?

There are very few options left. You can make peace with the fact that you aren’t perfect  and that not everything is within your power to change or you can  blame the outside world and make yourself out to be a victim, the opposite of what the “self-esteem movement” started out to do in the first place.

In order not breed a sense of entitlement, a healthy sense of self must necessarily be balanced with three key factors:

• Humility—the kind that combines a realistic sense of one’s own importance and a respect for others’ importance
• Belief— in a higher power than ourselves which leads us to temper self-reliance with a balanced view of our own importance
• Control—A realization that we can’t control everything that happens to us (easier said than done, for sure!), but that we can control our responses and take control of ourselves.

By achieving a sense of who we are and our place in the world, by accepting that what we want isn’t always what we get, and by strengthening our relationships with others we help tone down the stress.

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Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On (Without Wasting Time or Money), and Therapy Soup.  He is a nationally and internationally licensed psychotherapist and anxiety and addiction specialist with over 25 years experience.

He is writing patient rights and therapist ethics regulations for New York State, serves on the Ethics Committee of the NY Licensed Mental Health Counselors Association, and volunteers with at-risk youth.  Richard encourages everyone to stay emotionally, physically, and spiritually aware and healthy so they can live the happy, productive, meaningful lives they were meant to live.

Richard is our newest guest blogger and it’s with GREAT pleasure that I introduce to you someone I feel has so much to offer…

You can read all of Richard’s posts by Clicking Here!

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

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The average donation is about $11.
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By Guest Blogger – Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC

Have you finished therapy or treatment for mental health or addiction? Are you asking yourself, “What next”? Do you feel a bit like you’ve jumped out of a plane and aren’t sure if the parachute will work? Or worse, aren’t even sure where the ripcord is?

If this sounds like how you feel, you may not have received a written aftercare plan from your therapist. One of the surprising failures of therapy or treatment is that some therapists (together with their patients—this is important), don’t write a cohesive, supportive aftercare plan.

Just as a therapist should work together with you on a written treatment plan in order to help therapy focus on your treatment goals, they should also work together with you on a brief, but relevant plan for when you are done with therapy. Having a plan will help you manage the stress of “going out on your own”.

Partners in Aftercare

Your aftercare plan should list every member of your support network, what I call “partners in aftercare”. Just because you are done with therapy doesn’t mean that you won’t need the support and friendship and guidance of others.

After all everyone needs help from others, especially someone in recovery from emotional problems or addiction. Your support network might include family and friends, social services, medical support, religious/spiritual support, employment support, and even the occasional support of your therapist! You should be able to check in with him or her if you have questions.

In fact, after therapy or treatment, your primary care therapist should call you within a couple months of leaving therapy to ask how you are doing and to offer additional support, if needed.

Recommended Activities

Your aftercare plan should contain lists of recommended activities that are helpful to your continued recovery (such as group meeting, 12-step meetings, relaxation/meditation, physical exercise, regular medical checkups, meetings with social services, meetings with career counselors, even regular get-together with supportive friends, etc.).  It is helpful if it includes schedules for these activities, as well. Having a written plan reminding you of the frequency of helpful activities as well as recommended dates and times can help you stay on track and cope with stressful situations that arise.

Inspiration-911

Sure you can get inspiration from your partners in aftercare and scheduled activities, but each person is able to discover for themselves at least one, and often more, people, activities—which may include anything from volunteer work to baking to climbing mountains, prayer, books, music, paintings, and so on that really takes them to an inspired place. In therapy I believe it’s important to help people identify at least one, but preferably more, special, personal “Inspiration 911s” –accessible or easily planned activities that uplift you— and tap into them in times of loneliness, sorrow, stress or numbness.

For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

If you’ve found this website helpful, please click the Donate button.
The amount you donate is entirely up to you.
The average donation is about $11.
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One of my favorite guest bloggers here on StopStressingNow.com – Richard Zwolinski (Author of the book: Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On without Wasting Time or Money) turned the tables by interviewing me this week in a two part series, about my life and the struggle that has lead me to where I am today.

Click Here To Read Part One!

Click Here To Read Part Two!

Because it was an interview on the popular website PsychCentral.com about my experience with therapy and therapist, I went into a little more detail then I usually would have in the typical interviews that I do. I have pretty much said everything I wanted to say about my life in my book OCD: A Life Among Secrets. However, Richard is a very special therapist, highly qualified to ask the right questions and get to the core of this topic.

So I agreed to talk openly about things that have been very painful in my life. Things you may have also experienced as well.

I would love to hear your thoughts. Please post your comments here and I will answer them.

Also, Richard will be appearing on my Radio Show on May 2nd. Don’t miss it.

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If you’ve read my book OCD: A Life Among Secrets then you already know that as a teen I lived on the streets of Las Vegas. It was there I experienced the hard core realities of addiction for the first time. I remember pulling the needle out of my “best friend’s” arm on many occasion because he had passed out while injecting his fix. It was the daily stress of living that “life without hope” that lead him to choose the only escape he could find. In this installment of our resident addiction specialist, Richard Zwolinski investigates how stress can lead to addiction and reveals the top five warning signs to look out for.

Can Stress Lead To Addiction: Five (5) Warning Signs

By: Richard Zwolinski LMHC, CASAC

Do you have a glass of wine each evening to unwind??

Don’t worry not everybody who uses alcohol or even drugs becomes an addict or an alcoholic.

Many addiction experts agree: you have to have a specific genetic predisposition to become an addict.

However, stress can lead people to try substances that they otherwise wouldn?t. Many times people (with and without genetic predispositions for addiction), first pick up a drink or try a drug in response to a stressor. However, some people can drink frequently or even use some drugs and stop whenever they want! That’s because an addiction, including alcoholism, is not acquired according to most medical evidence you simply can’t catch alcoholism or addiction unless you have that genetic code.

According to current official descriptions, substance abuse is indicated by daily or weekly abuse (or other episodic abuse), without signs of changing tolerance or marked withdrawal symptoms. Addiction is indicated by having signs including increasing or decreasing tolerance to the substance as well as marked withdrawal symptoms.*

So how can you tell if stress might be leading you to abuse chemical substances and placing you on the path towards becoming addicted to alcohol or drugs?  If you find yourself frequently or regularly:

• Using alcohol or drugs to relax (for example, using them to relieve feelings of tension or frustration).
• Using alcohol or drugs to relieve anger.
• Using alcohol or drugs to socialize (for example, if you find that they ?help? you loosen up or release social inhibitions).

Or, if you find yourself at any point:

• Lying to your doctor or other medical professional or others in order to get painkillers or other drugs so you can cope.
• Always being sure to have what I call a “break glass in case of emergency” drink or drug in the house just in case.

There are other signs of alcohol and drug abuse and addiction but I often see these five in people who habitually use alcohol or drugs to cope with stress. **
It is important to remember that the injurious effects of too much stress hormone cortisol is definitely compounded by drinking or drugging. High cholesterol, high or imbalanced blood sugar, inflammation and pain, and many other health problems are made much worse when alcohol or drugs are added to the mix.

If it seems you can’t get through a day, a weekend or any stressful moment without self-medicating you may want to consider getting a professional evaluation from an addiction professional. If you feel you might meet the criteria for substance abuse or addiction, you may want to consider checking out a 12-step meeting or making an appointment at an outpatient addiction treatment center.

Interestingly enough, there isn’t really a typical substance abuser or addict doctors, lawyers, those in the financial world, and others are as likely to have problems with this as anyone else. A stressful lifestyle or job or a low tolerance for coping with stressors can lead anyone to try to find relief. It’s important to remember that feelings of guilt or shame might but really shouldn’t prevent you from getting help.

*In addition to 12-Step programs an excellent resource for those wanting to explore this topic is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration web site, www.samhsa.gov.

**I have been working in the fields of mental health and addiction for over 25 years. In the past decade many positive changes have occurred, including the recognition that substance abuse and mental health issues have a complex relationship.

For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

If you’ve found this website helpful, please click the Donate button.
The amount you donate is entirely up to you.
The average donation is about $11.
I’m grateful for your support.

To View All Of Steven’s Video Blogs

Click Here
http://www.stopstressingnow.com/category/guest-bloggers/steven-diamond-video-blogs/

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Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On (Without Wasting Time or Money), and Therapy Soup.  He is a nationally and internationally licensed psychotherapist and anxiety and addiction specialist with over 25 years experience. He is writing patient rights and therapist ethics regulations for New York State, serves on the Ethics Committee of the NY Licensed Mental Health Counselors Association, and volunteers with at-risk youth.  Richard encourages everyone to stay emotionally, physically, and spiritually aware and healthy so they can live the happy, productive, meaningful lives they were meant to live.

Richard is our newest guest blogger and it’s with GREAT pleasure that I introduce to you someone I feel has so much to offer…

Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC

You take care of yourself. You care about the important things in life. You recognize that everyone needs a break from stress and anxiety—that’s why you’re visiting StopStressingNow.com. But stress, anxiety (and the accompanying depression), sometimes cause such extreme suffering that almost every minute of a person’s life can seem unbearable.

Fortunately, there are terrific techniques out there that can help, including the techniques on this web site. Sometimes symptoms of stress and anxiety don’t respond to helpful techniques in a reasonable amount of time. What should you do if your symptoms are taking over your life? How can you tell if you need to go a step further and get a professional evaluation?

I created some very simple self-assessment tools that can help you do just that in my book Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On (Without Wasting Time or Money). The first is a symptom checklist. In just a couple of minutes this questionnaire can help you decide if you might want to consider getting an evaluation and possibly seeking additional help, such as that provided by a psychotherapist.

These will help you answer the question: When should I consider therapy?

1. Therapy Revolution Symptom Checklist

If you have frequent and/or ongoing instances of [any] of the following, you should get an evaluation from a skilled psychotherapist. He may also refer you to a medical doctor, if indicated. If you suspect a medical condition is causing your symptoms, then get an evaluation from a psychiatrist or other medical doctor first.

• Sadness/depression (the “blues”)
• Any overwhelming or ongoing fear
• Anxiety/extreme tension
• Nervousness
• Hysteria
• Memory problems
• Overwhelming guilt
• Scattered or confused thinking
• Overwhelming suspiciousness or hostility
• Strange or bizarre thoughts
• Anger/impulse control (you become easily upset and lash out verbally or physically)
• Identity problems (questions about sexuality, what is the meaning of [my] life,
• confusion about long-term goals, career choices, group loyalties, friendships)
• Spirituality problems (moral, religious, and spiritual questions and issues, cult membership, etc.)

Remember: These symptoms can occur on occasion in anyone. But if you experience these symptoms frequently or for an extended period of time on an ongoing basis, or you find it difficult to manage your symptoms even during the short term, seeking the advice of a professional can be the first step towards feeling better.

The second tool is a Life Stress Checklist. During times of change it is natural to experience a wide range of emotions, though it isn’t always obvious that there is a connection. It is important to be aware of how events in your life can influence your thoughts and feelings.

2. Therapy Revolution Life Stress Checklist

If you believe that any of the following life stressors are causing any of the symptoms from the Symptom Checklist (or other related or unusual symptoms), you may want to see a psychotherapist. If you are feeling that you are in crisis and have thoughts of harming yourself or others, you should call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room and notify a trusted friend or family member.

• Death of a family member
• Divorce
• Marriage (yes, even the good things in life cause stress)
• Terminal illness (one’s own or that of a family member)
• Physical incapacitation, chronic pain, or chronic illness
• Drug or alcohol abuse by self or family member
• Mental illness of self or family member
• Loss of job or job change
• Moving house
• Change of school (for children, but can be adults too)
• Relationship/relational problems (unable to get along with spouse, family, friends,
• coworkers)
• Academic problems (poor grades, inability to retain information, problems with
• teachers, deadlines)
• Occupational problems (lateness, absences, problems with boss, coworkers)
• Victim of abuse
• Victim of crime
• Criminal/abusive actions of self or family member
• Extreme loneliness/lack of community membership or friendships

Both of these checklists are excerpted from Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On (Without Wasting Time or Money), HCI Books.  For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

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