“Dear Ryan,

Twenty years ago this month, you died of AIDS. I would gladly give my fame and fortune if only I could have one more conversation with you, the friend who changed my life as well as the lives of millions living with HIV. Instead, I have written you this letter.

Here are five instant stress relievers, in no particular order…

1. Humor—Simple but foolproof. If you can poke a bit of fun at your stressful situation or your reaction to it, you’ll find you can diffuse a lot of the tension. If you can’t, Google some jokes and find one or two that tickle your funny bone.
2. Music—Studies have shown that listening to music that mirrors a depressed mood actually can lift a person out of symptoms of depression. However, when overloaded and stressed out, it is best to listen to whatever music you find soothing. If it has a slow beat (with or without percussion), even better. The beat will entrain your heart and slow down your pulse! Five minutes ought to do the trick.
3. Breathe—Dr. John Kennedy has written extensively about the use of breathing techniques to help heal stress-related heart problems. But if you need a quick fix, try this: Breathe in for the count of 4, out for the count of 7, pause for the count of 2. After three or four of these breaths you’ll notice a strong calming effect. The key seems to be in the lengthier exhalation, so if you want to , go ahead and experiment and find the exact ratio of inhalation and exhalation that works best for you.
4. Identify Your Stress Style—Are you a racing fire engine, a Tasmanian devil or more of a “grouch-potato”? Perhaps you turn into a limp soufflé or an ostrich with his head in the sand. Think about your “stress style”—what do you resemble when you’re under stress? Identifying how you react to stress and giving your reaction a funny name or description helps you step back and take a more objective look at what’s going on. Next time you’re facing meltdown, remember your stress style—and work on smoothing out the rough edges.
5. Touch—Reflexology, massage, and other healing touch heals stress and a host of problems, but what to do when you have less than five minutes? Borrow an acupuncture point from Chinese medicine. The “shen men” point seems to offer relief in most people. Hold your hand palm side up. Travel down from your pinky to where your wrist joins your hand and put gentle pressure or rub that spot for a few minutes. (Technically, the spot is on the transverse wrist crease in the small dip between the pisiform—the small pea-shaped bone—and ulna—the long, thin arm bone on aligned with the pinky).

Note to StopStressingNow.com Readers: We love this web site! Steven Diamond has brought together an amazing array of people to blog about a serious subject, and he has succeeded in offering up some very intriguing and helpful content. We are sad to say we must take a break from posting at StopStressingNow.com for a while but have enjoyed guest blogging.

Richard and C.R. Zwolinski

For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

CLICK HERE to listen to an amazing interview with Dr. Richard Zwolinski!

In these challenging economic times, Jeff recently co-founded Beyond Success, www.BeyondSuccessConsulting.com, a coaching and consulting firm that brings more holistic values to the world of business and finance.  His first book, Beyond Success: Redefining the Meaning of Prosperity, was recently published by AMACOM, the publishing house of the American Management Association.

Over the past several years, Jeff has been featured and interviewed in several national and local print, TV, and radio programs, including Money, CNN, Financial Advisor, New Jersey Business Journal, and News 12 New Jersey. In 2004, he was honored by Fortune Small Business Magazine as One of Our Nation’s Best Bosses. Jeff also serves as chairman of the advisory board to the Autism Center of New Jersey Medical School, an organization that raises significant monies each year for autism research and support services.

TAKE INITIATIVE : He may not see you, so make yourself stand out. If you really like him send an email, view his profile, favorite him, or wink at him.

STAY INVOLVED :  Use the message boards to stay in touch with others that are interested in similar sort of things. The more you let others know what you like, the better chance you’ll have at getting matched. You never know who know who. Create a saved search to specify the type of man or women you want emailed in your Matches by Mail.

TAKE IT WITH YOU : You can access many of the more popular dating sites right from your phone these days.   You can check your email, see who’s been viewing your profile, get your winks real-time, and more.

BE SAFE : There are certain safety tips you should always follow:

1. never send anyone money,

2. guard your real identity until you feel comfortable,

3. always meet in a public place for your first date, and

4. report anyone who sounds fake or acts rudely.

I hope you find these tips helpful – and that you find someone truly special!

Feel free to give me a call anytime so that we can discuss what is bothering you in your relationships.

CLICK HERE to read some comments posted by actual callers!

FREE MINUTES FOR FIRST TIME CALLERS!

There are so many factors that we feel “have to make us happy.” And when we don’t have “it” then we are unhappy, stressed, anxious, and so much more. The best way I can related our lives is we want to live a movie of happiness. Instead, the focus needs to change. The focus needs to be in photographs of happiness. Snapshots of a particular instance that happiness occurred.

Then as you gather the photographs together to make an album of happiness you begin to realize just how many photographs you are having to work with. When you focus on the have not, the deficits, the short comings, the mistakes, the pain– how could you not feel anxious and stressed? Could you feel stressed looking through a photo album of just happiness or positives?

Now yes life will throw you challenges but in order for stress not to set in I need the glass to start half full and not half empty. So if you being to feel overwhelmed:

1. Take a minute to slow down. Life can be lived at 40 mph not at 140 mph.
2. Give yourself an end goal and reward– you deserve it for all your hard work.
3. Have someone who knows you look at your situation and then ask someone else (like a health professional) for an outside prospective.
4. Enjoy life– We don’t do it enough! Did you even watch the clouds float by today for a minute?

If you’re still not sure, go talk to a cancer survivor. I have found the best outlooks and wisdom from someone who treasures each and every photograph in their life.

Have you ever heard these words? Have you ever thought them? Have you ever said them?

Chances are, in one variation or another, you have.

Wishing and waiting for events to change and for our world to get better during cloudy moments is just human nature.

The “wishing for things to change” part?

That’s fine.

The “waiting for things to change” part?

Well, I don’t like that so much.

“Waiting for change” is passive. Waiting for a sign, for direction, for the go-ahead from a boss, friend, the government, whoever…it often leads to just more darn waiting. When we base our goals and future on someone else’s “Let’s see what happens” or “I’ll get back to you” agenda, we may end up waiting for the rest of our lives.

I really don’t like that.

The bottom line is if you don’t like what’s going on in your life today, and if you have adopted a “wait-and-see” attitude regarding tomorrow, you’ll more than likely have a future that looks very much the same as your “today.”

And I really, really don’t like that.

After 47 years of my fair share of rejection and cloudy days, I have learned to tell myself that “If change is going to be…it’s up to me!”

Want a better tomorrow?

Don’t rely on others’ answers or solutions to fix your problems. Become your own activist, and change your future by changing what you do today! That’s all tomorrow is really…an accumulation of all our thoughts and actions from today and yesterday.

Want more sales tomorrow?

Then make more calls today.

Want that “You’re Hired” call in the future?

Then do more than just submitting a simple resume and application today.

Want to be healthy in the future?

Then start exercising and watching what you eat today.

You get the idea.

Shaping a better tomorrow is all about a living a better TODAY.

Becoming a doer…and not a waiter…is the only sure-fire way we have to really push what happens to us in the future in a positive direction.

Remember: “If it’s going to be…it’s up to me!”

Now that’s a part I like.

Immediate application: To what part of your life can you apply the “If it’s going to be…it’s up to me!” approach?

You can read all of Shawn’s Blog Posts by Clicking Here!

Click Here To Listen To The Live Broadcast <—– Amazing Interview With Shawn!

For more info about Shawn, visit www.ShawnAnderson.com.
For more info about his Extra Mile America Tour, visit: wwwExtraMileAmerica.com

You wanna know what it was that I said?

I said, when you are about to take your final breath on this earth, it won’t be the money, cars, homes or material things that you think about.

It will be the relationships in your life.

You’ll think about relationships because they are among the most important treasures in all of existence.

So learning to develop great relationship skills truly is one of the most important investments you can make in your life.

Great relationships directly translates into a happier, more meaningful life. It means more positive things will come your way. More real friends, and even more money will all come as a result of learning how to develop the right relationship skills.

Think about it.

His Mindset Is Different From Yours

Men and women think about the early stages of dating very differently. Women often try to read too much into their early interactions with men, which then leads them to think that after the first few dates they’re in what I call the “instant relationship”.

That means a woman will often think she’s in a relationship with a man when he’s still feeling things out. So she becomes too available, too eager, and too invested in where this is all going. She also starts expecting things from him – she assumes they’re going to be seeing each other every weekend, she expresses annoyance when he doesn’t call her more often, or she assumes an exclusive relationship instead of actually discussing it.

Suddenly he feels pressured, and she loses that cool-girl vibe that attracted him in the first place.

Feel free to give me a call anytime so that we can discuss what is bothering you in your relationships.

CLICK HERE to read some comments posted by actual callers!

Getting To Know All About You

When a man asks you out for a second or third date, all it means is he’s interested in getting to know you better, because he felt a good connection with you on date #1.

It doesn’t mean that he necessarily wants to be exclusive or is already thinking about a serious relationship. He’s still just getting to know you. He’s enjoying your company, having fun, and starting to wonder about you.

But if you’re already thinking ahead to the next few months when this is the only man you’re seeing and things are serious, you’re doing yourself a disservice. You’ve already made a decision about this guy, and you don’t even know him that well yet. All you’re doing is going by your gut feeling and the chemistry you feel when you’re with him.

I can help you to understand what he is really thinking.

Think about this:

We don’t think twice about taking our car into and expert shop that can fix the wheel when we have a flat tire.

So why aren’t you just as concerned about protecting the relationships in your life?

Scott Musgrave shows you how to take your health seriously! He strives to create optimal health by utilizing cutting edge knowledge and skills to create balance within your body. Once your systems are balanced, optimal function is restored and you will thrive.

His advanced training allows him to rapidly create a state of neurological and physiological balance within your body. This balance is often a catalyst for significant life changes, including: performance enhancement, symptom reduction, normalized movement patterns, and pain relief.

Don’t settle for living with less than optimal function. Take advantage of your full potential… Play at Your Peak and Live Without Limitation!
For more information: http://www.wellnessandperformance.com/

Don’t miss it!

Sonia Gallagher is a Certified Life Coach, business attorney, and entrepreneur.

Sonia has worked in both the judicial and private arenas of the law and established her own Law Firm. She understands the challenges facing lawyers. As an Executive Life Coach for lawyers, Sonia combines her intuitive nature, background in psychology, and her marketing and entrepreneurship experience with her passion for inspiring, empowering, and motivating lawyers to live a balanced life filled with professional fulfillment and success.

Before becoming a coach, Sonia honed her psychology and communications background while working for the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), increased her understanding of people and cultural differences and sensibilities while working at The International Court of The Hague in The Netherlands, and developed successful methods of networking, marketing, developing joint ventures & strategic alliances, and organizational systems while owning her law firm in the State of Florida.

Sonia co-edited a bench book on the application of International law on domestic rulings for the US Supreme Court while working for the National Women Judges Association in Washington.  She worked as a judicial clerk for the Honorable Matthew Stevenson, Chief Appellate Judge of the 4th District Court of Appeals. Sonia has published hundreds of Immigration law articles all over the country, been interviewed on Television and radio shows as an expert, and hosted a television news program.

Sonia is an University of Miami Honors graduate and holds a Bachelors of Arts Degree in Psychology. She received a full scholarship to the University of Florida Levin College of Law and holds a Juris Doctor Degree.

Sonia has traveled extensively and experienced many different areas and cultures of the world. She has an intense passion for people and the evolvement of consciousness. She considers it a blessing to be able to work with lawyers who want to live more fulfilled, balanced, and successful lives. She conducts comprehensive individual and group coaching sessions nation-wide. She conducts training seminars and workshops customized to the needs of each law firm and organization.

Her unique Success through Balance coaching technique empowers lawyers by teaching them ways to get more out of life while being successful advocates. Sonia helps lawyers discover ways to create more fulfillment in their jobs, more time in their day, more personal success, and to apply powerful methods to overcome negative thinking and behavioral patterns.

When she is not coaching, Sonia can be found writing, creating motivational guides and business programs, playing with her dog, cat, and husband, traveling to “off the beaten path” cities, and practicing and teaching meditation. She is also an avid reader in the area of personal and business development, peak performance, spiritual growth, marketing, and human potential.

For More Information:  www.timeforlifenow.com

Have you recently been passed over for promotion? Seeing a peer being offered advancement opportunities while your career seems stuck in a rut can be an unpleasant experience. This is especially true when you consider your skill set and commitment to be equal to (or better than) that of your promoted coworker. Coping with the emotional fall out of this situation requires objective self examination and good communication. Stressing out about your capabilities and worth isn’t effective either so the best thing to do is find out what happened and get feedback.

Talking to Your Boss

Storming into your manager’s office and demanding an explanation for why you weren’t chosen is a bad idea for obvious reasons. Someone who can’t stay in control of their emotions isn’t ready for additional responsibilities. On the other hand, trying to figure out “what went wrong” all on your own is a sure way to become paranoid and depressed. So, it is OK to talk to your boss about how the decision to promote a peer was reached – once you have calmed down. Here’s an example of a respectful way you can talk to your boss that may shed some light on what’s holding you back in terms of your career:

“I know that making assumptions often leads to disappointment, but I was surprised when my peer was offered this project (or promotion) instead of me. I think he/she will do a great job; but I was wondering how that decision was reached so I can step up my game for the next time an opportunity presents itself. Could we look at my last few performance reviews together and identify areas where I can show more leadership?”

This approach lets your boss know 3 things:

• You are actively seeking advancement and your potential shouldn’t be ignored
• You are willing to make changes to become a better candidate for promotion
• You have the emotional maturity to work through a problem instead of becoming frustrated and giving up

Why Were You Passed Over for Promotion?

It might be that a strong mentoring relationship is missing from your career. This is often true if you see that a peer who is not necessarily “better” at their job but who has the right connections gets promoted faster than you. While this may not seem fair, it is true that the further up the corporate ladder you climb the better you have to be at networking. You might as well start now by finding a mentor.

One mindset you want to stay away from is the belief that you are being discriminated against based on being (or not being) a member of a protected group. Unless there is a clear pattern or evidence of this behavior in your organization, going down that road is not helpful for your career. It is more likely that there are practical reasons why your boss perceives one of your peers as having the best skills for a particular job.

Keep Your Chin Up

Occasionally, there comes a point where the powers that be simply have to make a decision between two equally qualified candidates. If your boss indicates that this was the case, don’t despair. There will be more opportunities in the future and one of them will have your name on it. In the meantime, make a list of all the talents and abilities you bring to your job that no one else does and in parallel, don’t fall into the trap of comparing against your peer. Focus on yourself and leverage your internal networks to keep what you do and who you are top of mind.

Listen To An Amazing Live Interview With Tony About Workplace Stress – Click Here!

Mr. Tony Deblauwe

Tony Deblauwe is a Workplace Expert based in the San Francisco Bay Area.
He is an award-winning and regular contributor to career social networks sites
such as Brazen Careerist and TrackAhead. He directs the Innovation
Committee for Career Directors International.

For more information on Tony, please visit: http://www.workbabble.com