She’s the only person in history to run the White House Visitors Office for all 8 years of an administration.

Appearing Live on my Radio Show May 30th!

Melinda Bates never expected to spend nearly a decade rubbing elbows with political leaders, royalty and celebrities, but that’s exactly what she did for Bill and Hillary Clinton as the head of the White House Visitor’s Office – a job that made her everybody’s “best friend” in Washington.

A native of Washington DC, in 1964, as a freshman at Georgetown University, Melinda met classmate Bill Clinton and developed a friendship that has lasted a lifetime.  In 1992 Melinda volunteered on Governor Clinton’s presidential campaign and when he won the election, decided to look for a job in the new administration.  She happily found the perfect fit – as head of the White House Visitors Office, and did her job so well she became the only person in history to run the Office for all eight years of an administration.  She is also the first person in that position to be a Special Assistant to the President – a title that makes heads turn in Washington DC.

Melinda knows everything you want – and need – to know about life inside the White House.  And she wasn’t just another staff member working away in the East Wing. Melinda’s personal, lifelong friendship with Bill and Hillary Clinton afforded her a level of access restricted from most staff – organizing and attending state dinners, receptions, bill signings, press conferences and every kind of White House event. Among the biggest challenges was coordinating the annual Easter Egg Roll – a huge public event for more than 30,000 people on the South Lawn.  As an outgoing Bush staffer had warned, “If you can pull off an Egg Roll, you can do anything!”

Melinda represented the President and First Lady in countless television and radio interviews discussing White House events, tours and celebrations. But what everyone really loves are the inside tidbits about the celebrities, from Darryl Waltrip to Barbara Walters, Oprah to Jewel, Tom Selleck to Dr. Ruth, rustic to royalty – she spent time with scores of the most fascinating people from all walks of life and shares her amazing firsthand stories and insights in the pages of the her book.   As Special Assistant and Director serving alongside President Clinton and First Lady Hilary Rodham Clinton, Melinda Bates was – and is – a true White House Insider.

For More Information on Melinda Bates, please visit: http://ultimatewhitehouseinsider.com

Live on my radio show – MAY 23rd!

Wild River Review/ Wild Table editor, Warren Bobrow grew up on a farm in Morristown, NJ. A graduate of Emerson College with a degree in Film, he spent his senior year as a research assistant in visual thinking at CAVS / MIT.
He worked for many years in the corporate world.

Wild Table has bits of visual poetry, terroir and food commentaries. In addition to Wild River Review, Warren writes for NJMYWay.com, NJ Monthly, Edible Jersey, NJ Savvy Living, Chutzpah Magazine and  NJ Life Magazine.  Warren continues to traverse the print-scape and is now writing for the Morris Cty., NJ Daily Record for their restaurant and their features column. He just appeared at the Roger Smith Food Writing Conference in NYC and gave a 14.5 minute talk on Twitter, Food Writing and Zen.  Warren spoke at the #140 Conference in Philadelphia on the same topic.  Zen and the Art of Twitter, Foodwriting and knowing nothing.

Warren is a contributing author for the Oxford Encyclopedia of Food and Drink in America. Ed., 2.

For More Information on Warren, please visit:  http://www.wildriverreview.com

Nina Amir, is a seasoned journalist, author, inspirational speaker, and a conscious creation coach. Additionally, she does a show called Conversations with Mrs. Claus, a weekly podcast heard in more than 90 countries and downloaded by 110,000 listeners per month. Through her writing and speaking, Amir offers human potential, personal growth and practical spiritual tools from a unique perspective, although her work spans religious lines it is pertinent to people of all faiths and spiritual traditions. In all she does, Amir strives to help people live fully and feel the Divine Presence in their lives every day.

Here’s Nina Amir

Choosing to Move from Fear to Awe Allows You to Live Fully and Achieve Your Full Human Potential

These days, many people feel they have reasons to fear. They may worry that they will lose their job, their home or their life’s savings. Other people worry about their health and safety. Their worry may turn into fear, and fear soon can become terror.

Any degree of fear, however, stops us from reaching our full human potential. It keeps us stuck in place, unable to move forward to achieve our goals. Plus, our fearful thoughts only create more reasons to have fear. However, learning to move through our fear, or to deal with it in a positive manner, allows us to achieve a new level of personal growth. In this way, we can, indeed, live our lives fully.

One way to remove fear from our lives, or at least to lesson its impact, involves looking at it differently. In fact, terror and awe represent opposite extremes of the same spectrum. Thus, we can find awe even in our terror.

To understand this spectrum and how it might help reduce fear, let’s first look at the definitions of terror and awe. Terror constitutes intense fear or anxiety. This is not simple worry but full blown, overriding fear. Awe, on the other hand, can include an overwhelming feeling of reverence or admiration—or the power to inspire these feelings, but it also can include fear or the power to inspire fear.

In fact, fear and awe exist in different places on the same spectrum of emotion. To understand how this works, imagine yourself feeling awe at arriving at the top of a mountain and seeing the gorgeous panoramic view, then moving closer to the edge of the cliff and feeling fear, and moving even closer, so close that your toes almost hang over and rocks tumble off the edge, and you feel terror about possibly falling.

If you can take your terror and physically step backward to fear and then backward again to awe, you find yourself seeing the miracle of life once again. You find yourself feeling wonder and exhilaration at the miracles around you; you feel awe for God’s presence in all that exists. Thus, you experience both ends of the emotional spectrum of fear—terror and awe.

Simply changing your focus accomplishes this as well. If you were still standing at the very edge of the cliff, you could focus upon the dirt and rocks falling and your toes at the edge of the solid ground, all of which bring up your feelings of being vulnerable and exposed to danger, or you could focus on the same thing you focused on as you came up the trail—the fabulous, awe inspiring spectacle of nature and God’s handiwork. Instead of fear, you would feel awe.

In this way you get back to awe not by physically stepping backward and away from that which causes you fear or terror. You simply back up your thoughts and emotions to the place where you felt awe, to the place where you experienced the thrill of life. You change your emotions by changing your thoughts and where you place the focus of your attention.

Or you can focus upon the fact that you actually are standing at the edge and are safe. Be in the moment. Allow yourself to feel the exhilaration of standing on the edge of a cliff and knowing all is well. Allow yourself to see the miracle in that moment, in the fact that you are safe on the edge of the cliff. Make a choice about how you will feel in the moment, how you will perceive the experience. Be in the “now.”

You also can picture awe and fear as if they exist on opposite ends of a bridge and find a way to walk across the bridge from one end to the other, your goal being to find a place along that particular bridge that feels positive and comfortable. Hopefully, you will discover that as you walk along the bridge you end up at the opposite end of the spectrum. In other words, if previously you stood on the “fear side” of the bridge, you now stand at the “awe” side. Any other thoughts or feelings that go with your sense of fear can be used in this exercise. For instance, you can walk from the “fear side” to the “courage” or “safety” side. If you felt “insecure” before, you may now stand on the side of “security.” Accomplish this by taking small steps—actual physical actions—that help your traverse the mental bridge as well as actually move through your fear. Also do so by making choices about where you place your focus (on fear, awe or safety).

If you remain conscious, you can choose fear or awe in any moment. By so doing, you can dictate if you are able to move forward freely and courageously towards your goals. If you do so, you will find that you are living your life more fully and achieving your full human potential.

For More Information on Nina Amir, Please Visit:  http://www.purespiritcreations.com .

How Workplace Stress Can Be Good for You

By Tony Deblauwe

When you hear about workplace stress on the news, it is typically a reminder of how this condition can be enormously destructive to your health. Consistently high stress levels that are poorly managed are linked to everything from depression to heart disease. However, there is also evidence that some types of stress have an upside. Let’s explore this concept and how you can harness it to further your career.

Recent Research Shows Benefits of Stress

Most healthcare professionals are reluctant to use terms like “good stress”. They are concerned that people will use this as a reason to ignore stress in their lives – with all the bad consequences that can bring. However, there are a number of researchers who are breaking the silence about this controversial topic. Here are a few recent pieces of information you may find enlightening:

A University of Texas study found that people who are in challenging, creative professions are healthier than the average person.

In 2004, Doctors Suzanne Segerstrom and Gregory Miller reported in the Psychological Bulletin that the hormones released during an episode of short-term stress may actually boost immune function.

Developmental psychologist Janet DiPietro from Johns Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health states that most people perform best when they are under mild to moderate stress.

Keep in mind that all of these professionals agree that chronic stress is harmful. So, don’t overdo it. They also acknowledge that deciding how much is “too much” is highly individual. Learning to your workplace stress doesn’t mean eliminating it altogether. In fact, there may be times when you need to challenge yourself with a little stress to help you excel.

Here are some ways you could use “good stress” to pull ahead of the pack at work:

Win or Lose Can Be Win-Win

There is nothing like some friendly competition at work to get your adrenaline pumping. See if management is open to a productivity challenge. This could pit one shift or department against another to see which team can improve performance the most in a 30 day period.

Or, you can recruit one or two coworkers to take part in a smaller competition to achieve your “personal bests”. Offer a small prize (say, a $20 gift card) for the winner. That money is a wise investment that can pay off during your next performance evaluation when your productivity soars.

Do Something That Scares You

For most people, the thought of public speaking is terrifying. If you have never presented any type of report in a business meeting, prepare one this time. It should be short and cover a topic you know very well. Use notes to prompt you along (memorization is for the pros). Stand up to talk so you get the full “butterfly in the stomach” feeling of being on stage.

If this seems like too much workplace stress, consider offering to do a presentation during orientation for the next batch of new-hires. They don’t know you (and you have seniority over them), so you may feel less embarrassed and nervous. Either way, you will build a reputation for leadership and good communication.

Get Creative – and Helpful

Volunteer to solve a problem for your boss. Pick something that you know is doable. However, it should require some creative thinking on your part. If possible, figure out 2 or 3 potential solutions. Why? Because your boss may shoot down your first idea and you need a backup plan! It doesn’t really matter if your suggestions are filed away or implemented. You will still earn points for being an original thinker – someone to keep an eye on for future development during succession planning.

Working environments continue to change in response to economic conditions, competitive demands, and talent shortages. Remember that you can find opportunities to challenge yourself in ways that improve your work performance and your contribution in the eyes of your co-workers and your boss.

Tony Deblauwe is a Workplace Expert and Founder of Silicon Valley based services firm, HR4Change.
He is an award-winning author and regular contributor to career social networks sites
such as Brazen Careerist, and TrackAhead.  He has been quoted by CareerBuilder, The Ladders and various HR publications. Check out his blog at www.workbabble.com

If you’ve read my book OCD: A Life Among Secrets then you already know that as a teen I lived on the streets of Las Vegas. It was there I experienced the hard core realities of addiction for the first time. I remember pulling the needle out of my “best friend’s” arm on many occasion because he had passed out while injecting his fix. It was the daily stress of living that “life without hope” that lead him to choose the only escape he could find. In this installment of our resident addiction specialist, Richard Zwolinski investigates how stress can lead to addiction and reveals the top five warning signs to look out for.

Can Stress Lead To Addiction: Five (5) Warning Signs

By: Richard Zwolinski LMHC, CASAC

Do you have a glass of wine each evening to unwind??

Don’t worry not everybody who uses alcohol or even drugs becomes an addict or an alcoholic.

Many addiction experts agree: you have to have a specific genetic predisposition to become an addict.

However, stress can lead people to try substances that they otherwise wouldn?t. Many times people (with and without genetic predispositions for addiction), first pick up a drink or try a drug in response to a stressor. However, some people can drink frequently or even use some drugs and stop whenever they want! That’s because an addiction, including alcoholism, is not acquired according to most medical evidence you simply can’t catch alcoholism or addiction unless you have that genetic code.

According to current official descriptions, substance abuse is indicated by daily or weekly abuse (or other episodic abuse), without signs of changing tolerance or marked withdrawal symptoms. Addiction is indicated by having signs including increasing or decreasing tolerance to the substance as well as marked withdrawal symptoms.*

So how can you tell if stress might be leading you to abuse chemical substances and placing you on the path towards becoming addicted to alcohol or drugs?  If you find yourself frequently or regularly:

• Using alcohol or drugs to relax (for example, using them to relieve feelings of tension or frustration).
• Using alcohol or drugs to relieve anger.
• Using alcohol or drugs to socialize (for example, if you find that they ?help? you loosen up or release social inhibitions).

Or, if you find yourself at any point:

• Lying to your doctor or other medical professional or others in order to get painkillers or other drugs so you can cope.
• Always being sure to have what I call a “break glass in case of emergency” drink or drug in the house just in case.

There are other signs of alcohol and drug abuse and addiction but I often see these five in people who habitually use alcohol or drugs to cope with stress. **
It is important to remember that the injurious effects of too much stress hormone cortisol is definitely compounded by drinking or drugging. High cholesterol, high or imbalanced blood sugar, inflammation and pain, and many other health problems are made much worse when alcohol or drugs are added to the mix.

If it seems you can’t get through a day, a weekend or any stressful moment without self-medicating you may want to consider getting a professional evaluation from an addiction professional. If you feel you might meet the criteria for substance abuse or addiction, you may want to consider checking out a 12-step meeting or making an appointment at an outpatient addiction treatment center.

Interestingly enough, there isn’t really a typical substance abuser or addict doctors, lawyers, those in the financial world, and others are as likely to have problems with this as anyone else. A stressful lifestyle or job or a low tolerance for coping with stressors can lead anyone to try to find relief. It’s important to remember that feelings of guilt or shame might but really shouldn’t prevent you from getting help.

*In addition to 12-Step programs an excellent resource for those wanting to explore this topic is the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration web site, www.samhsa.gov.

**I have been working in the fields of mental health and addiction for over 25 years. In the past decade many positive changes have occurred, including the recognition that substance abuse and mental health issues have a complex relationship.

For More Information Please Visit:  www.richardzwolinski.com.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO THE LIVE INTERVIEW!

I learned so much from her and I know you will really enjoy her installment this month. She reminds us what we truly need to do to set ourselves up for success!

It’s Not the Journey or the Destination, It’s the Starting Point!

by Libby Gill

Yogi Berra said, “You gotta be careful if you don’t know where you’re going because you might not get there.”  Despite his famously lopsided logic, I’m sure you get the drift.  If you want to get somewhere, it helps if you know where somewhere is.

I’d like to take that one step further. If you want to get somewhere, knowing the starting point is just as critical (if not more) than knowing the end point.  With your somewhere in mind, let’s take a look at where you actually are right now so you can create the shortest possible path from here to there.

Check out this self-assessment tool that I developed to help you identify how successful and satisfied you are in ten key areas of work and life.  Take a look at the grid below (or go to www.MyAccountabilityClub.com and sign up for our newsletter and you’ll get a copy of this assessment) with ten squares labeled to represent the major areas of your personal and professional life.  Think about each section and, as objectively and honestly as you can, rate your satisfaction level in each area on a 1-10 scale, 1 being least satisfied, 10 being most satisfied.

Don’t default to the fantasy version of life or what you think other people expect of you.  Instead, assess yourself by your own standards.  For example, if you’re single and happy about it, there’s no need to give yourself a low rating on Significant Other.  You’re not scoring yourself on whether or not you have a significant other, just if you’re satisfied with what you do have.  Or, if you’re perfectly content being a slob, don’t nail yourself on the home and physical space rating.  (But don’t ignore the impact it could have on your relationship score either.)

Now, ask yourself the following questions and write your score on the 1-10 scale in the corresponding box.

1. Career: How satisfied are you with where you are in your career today?  Do you feel that your work is significant and fulfilling?
2. Finances: This isn’t just about how much money you have, though that is a factor.  Do you have access to information?  Are you comfortable with your income relative to your expenses?  Are you anxious about money?
3. Health & Self-care: Do you exercise, eat well, practice good sleep habits?  Do you have regular check-ups with dentists and doctors?
4. Relationships with Family: Are your relationships with parents, siblings and extended family where you want them to be?  Have you healed, managed or dealt with any lingering issues?  Do you make the appropriate amount of time for family (whether that’s a lot or a little is up to you)?
5. Relationship with Friends: Do you have friendships that feed and nurture you?  Do you have the quality and quantity of friends that is right for you?  Are your friendships mutually satisfying?  Do you put in the time to keep friendships strong?
6. Significant Other: Are you satisfied with your relationships status as it stands today?  Is your marriage or partnership where you want it to be?  Or do you have lots of work to do?
7. Purpose/Spirituality: Do you feeling you’re living with purpose?  Are you connected with your version of spirit, god, universe or faith?
8. Personal Growth: Are you evolving as a person?  Are you growing, learning, risking and becoming a better person every day?
9. Fun & Recreation: Do you make time and energy for fun?  Are you pursing hobbies or passions that feed you? Do you laugh often?

10. Home or Physical Space: Are your surroundings comforting or a source of stress?  Do you love where and how you live today (even if you have aspirations for bigger, better or different)?

Success & Satisfaction Self-Assessment

If you’re like most people, you probably have a mix of high scores in areas where things are working quite well and low scores where you need to do some homework. Take a moment to acknowledge and congratulate yourself for what’s working in your life.  Don’t ignore or skim over this important step.  After you give yourself a pat on the back for your great marriage or terrific friendships, determine how you’ll take each area of your life up one notch.  That is, if you gave your Fun & Recreation a 2, how will you get it to 3?  If Health & Self-Care is a 4, how do you get it to 5? It’s not about going from 0 to 10 overnight, it’s about incremental growth.

Finally, figure out what you can do today to move one key area up a level.  Okay, you’ve got your starting point, the rest is up to you!

Libby Gill is an executive coach, brand strategist and bestselling author.  You can learn more at www.LibbyGill.com and www.MyAccountabilityClub.com.

Guest Blogger Rick Zapf, MS.

You know when it comes to change, people become stuck and rightfully so! You have been doing something for quite some time now and had been successful. You may feel as an expert but more often than not our eyes are not open to just what we have gotten ourselves into. When I work with families, the difficulty arises in change by first in taking a step back and surveying what is happening. What ruts have developed in your family patterns? When you are living life – minute by minute – you do not give yourself the ability to do a self check. Frustrated parents say, “I just thought it could work again this time.” When I point out to families the brick wall they keep running into I ask, I plead –

STOP HURTING YOURSELF & YOUR FAMILY!

So I liken change to getting stuck in a ditch. Now granted growing up in Southern California there weren’t very many ditches to get stuck in, but here in wide open Texas, let’s just say there are plenty of opportunities. So what happens is your wheels start spinning, but you aren’t going anywhere. You look around in embarrassment to make sure nobody is looking and you try shifting in reverse. Nothing – the wheels just keep spinning. So out of desperation, you try drive again. As if somehow doing the same thing would work this time. You could try it slow, fast, turning the wheels, or banging on your head on steering wheel. STUCK IS STUCK. It isn’t until you get out of your car in the mud and mess, take a step back, survey the damage and difficulty, and then realize you need help. You call a tow truck — an expert. This expert can get you out of your stuck position with the tools and knowledge to fix your situation. And chances are they have helped others and can help you too. You just have to make the call.

So the first step of change is taking a step back from the situation. Sucking out the emotions, hurts, frustrations, or whatever it might be to move forward is needed. When a counselor is in training they teach us how not to react. We watch hours of video tapes to see just how we react with and without emotion. Parents often are too emotional to parenting their child, but by being able to step back helps to change your emotionality.

The second step is change. Yes, change is difficult. I love the scene from Disney’s “Lion King” when Rafiki tells Simba about change. Changing one’s own thoughts, actions, or beliefs are not easy. I explained it once to a person who questioned why people don’t just change. “Well, look at yourself. You aren’t willing to change.” I challenged her eye-to-eye. “Take off your clothes.” Her mouth went agape and she sputtered. “See, we all have a comfort level of what we are willing to do or say.” Our morals, convictions, thoughts, and history determine our actions. Unfortunately for parents, you are being challenged hourly because teens are just beginning to form these morals, convictions, and thoughts in their own world. Teen don’t have a long history, that they can remember. So as we all change, more leeway is needed for your teenager since they are just learning.

Also, be willing to change the new change that has just begun. Parents like life to be written in stone. Unfortunately, life with a teenager should be much more fluid. It should be able to change easily. If it is not working or doesn’t fit for your family, don’t keep making it worse. There is something that can work for your family. The definition of insane by Einstein was, “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result.”

Lastly, stop stressing! It seems fitting for this blog that change ends with stop stressing, but the better the attitude towards positive change you can have the better the outcome. Now don’t be all fake and insincere with your teenager because that will backfire in your face. If you want positive change to occur just say,
“Today, my life, my teenager are the best. Tomorrow is a new day.”
OR
“Why am I such a great communicating parent of a teenager?”

Come on, you can say it! Practice in front of a mirror and say it with warmth and mean it. If you can believe in yourself, believe in your teenager, and strive to make tomorrow a better day – what more is there to life? Stop stressing about would’ve, could’ve, or should’ve done and deal with the relationships at hand. Change today because you can! You are the adult! Make tomorrow a better place for you and your family. Stop stressing, start changing, and examine what in your life needs to change TODAY!

Remember, parenting a teenager doesn’t have to be difficult!

Rick Zapf, MS
Author, Family Therapist & Teen Communication Consultant
www.Z1Publications.com

John M. Kennedy, M.D.,

The 15 Minute Heart Cure: The Natural Way to Release Stress and Heal Your Heart in Just Minutes a Day.

He has also incorporated the BREATHE™ technique into a company wellness program, BREATHE™ For Company Wellness, which will enable companies to provide a healthy and safe alternative for employee stress release; the program features a private social media component.

Dr. Kennedy is our newest guest blogger here at StopStressingNow.Com and we couldn’t be any more excited to have him on board. I’ve read his amazing book and asked him right away to contribute his life saving knowledge with all of you for 2010.

For more information on Dr. John M. Kennedy, please visit his website:  www.johnmkennedymd.com

We have another intresting and new guest blogger here at StopStressingNow.Com.

It’s with much joy and laughter that I proudly introduce to you our newest guest blogger,

Mr. James Masica.

The folk wisdom is that “laughter is the best medicine.” Medical science is increasingly able to demonstrate the truth of that saying, and it is not restricted to individual health. Laughter is great medicine for our social relationships too.

In fact, this human urge to connect through laughter is so strong that the number one thing people say they want in a romantic partner is “somebody that makes me laugh.” That’s right: when it comes to our most fundamental and important intimate relationship—the one we hope will last until we die–above all we want somebody we can share laughter with.

Here’s a perspective on laughter that will probably be new to you: laughter and humor are two different things. Laughter, humor, comedy, jokes—they all kind of seem like the same thing, don’t they? But they’re not. Laughter is just a physical act.  It’s pushing the air out from our lungs and making that familiar ha-ha-ha sound. You can think of it as a form of exercise, something you can voluntarily do anytime you want, like going for a walk or touching your toes.

Comedy or humor, on the other hand, is mental.  We’ve all had the experience of somebody telling us a joke they thought was just great. But when we hear it we don’t think it’s funny, so we don’t laugh. Drawing a distinction between laughter and humor actually gives us a very powerful tool, because it puts laughter under our voluntary control. We’re not dependant on anything from the outside to “make” us laugh. We don’t have to “think” anything is funny. We can just laugh—yep, for no reason, just because it’s good to be alive.

The odd thing is, our body and our mind reacts to laughter the same way regardless of the cause.

Regardless of if it’s for no reason or if it’s in response to our favorite comedian, laughter releases a whole range of beneficial chemicals into our bloodstream. Our blood pressure goes way down, our immune system goes way up, we breath deeper and get more oxygen to the brain. Endorphins—the body’s natural “feel good” mood elevator—kick in for a natural high. Seratonin levels get optimized—that’s what antidepressant try to do—but no side effects.  And all for free.

Have you ever noticed how laugher is contagious? How when people get in the laughter groove it’s so easy to have even more laughter? That’s because Mother Nature has wired us up to respond to each other’s emotions. Feelings are contagious. We will spontaneously respond to the laughter of others by laughing ourselves—nothing even needs to be funny. Try it for yourself next time you’re in a group—just laugh, and notice how others will laugh too. It’s sort of like an echo.

Sharing laughter with another person is among the most pleasurable of human experiences. When people laugh together, they feel more trusting and safer. We feel more connected to people we laugh with, and it makes a relationship of any type stronger and more resilient. From casual friendships at work to the deepest connection with our soul mate, laughter can contribute to building and keeping the best possible relationships.

What it takes to bring out laughter isn’t trying to “be funny”. What it takes is a certain point of view, an attitude towards the world and those around you. Laughter research has revealed that there are six simple habits that grow the “laughter attitude.” These six habits form the practices of “Goodhearted Living”—a way of being in the world that’s joyful and satisfying, and spreads from person to person like wildfire.

By adding them to your life, you will find that you’ve created a sort of fertile garden in which more laughter can sprout. They lead to a more relaxed, appreciative stance towards life. We spontaneously share these good feelings with all the people in our lives.

The six habits of Good Hearted Living are:

• Giving compliments—because giving a compliment is an acknowledgement to ourselves that something is right with the world. It’s an antidote to the negativity and pessimism around us.
• Being flexible—we know the only constant is change, yet we so easily fall into the rut of resisting or complaining about what’s different or new. Do something different—even a little thing—just to flexible and avoid “hardening of the attitudes”.
• Express gratitude—the big secret is that gratitude actually creates joy. If you want to be happy, be grateful. There’s always some point of view from which gratitude is the right response.
• Be kind—Everybody is fighting some kind of secret battle inside or dealing with some problem we’re unaware of. Cut people some slack. It feels really good to be generous in spirit.
• Practice forgiveness—Be selfish and forgive others. Huh? Yes, forgiveness is for ourselves—because holding a grudge is like swallowing poison and expecting the other person to die.
• Chocolate! Maybe real chocolate (it’s full of endorphins and tastes good too), but more importantly, symbolic chocolate. Treat yourself well. Take time to recharge your batteries and refresh yourself. It’s important to take time off, to avoid burnout, and to do whatever keeps you feeling fresh and enthusiastic about life.

Sometimes one or two of these habits will jump out at you.  Notice which one interests you the most. It could be a wake-up call for what needs extra attention in your life.

All around the globe, there are Laughter Clubs and Laughter Yoga sessions, where people get together and laugh. Look for one near you.

Give up the idea that you need something to “make” you laugh. Abraham Lincoln said “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.” Put one or more of the Habits of Good Hearted Living into practice, and see if it doesn’t make more space for laughter in your life.

For more information on James, please visit: http://www.masicalaughter.com

Maybe you’ve asked yourself why you are here?

“CONNECTIONS: Everyone Happens for a Reason” is a collection of real-life stories and eye-opening facts illustrating our biological need to connect with each other, from the bedroom to the boardroom, from our first breath to our last wish, from the womb to the tomb. Although our society has never been so seemingly connected – through email, text message, instant message, cell phones, Blackberries, cyberspace chat rooms, etc. – we’re not very connected, leading to the trademarked “Laws of Connection,” and featuring dozens of people’s key connections, including Dr. Mehmet Oz, of “Oprah” fame.

I’ve asked one of the co-authors of this amazing book to share with us, in a series of articles just how important life long connections truly are. So it’s with great pleasure that I introduce to you..

Mr. Jerry Davich, our newest guest blogger here at StopStressingNow.Com

Melinda stood at the bottom of the airport escalator, waiting for her husband to return from a business trip. The couple had been going through rocky times. She decided to warmly surprise him by meeting him at the terminal, rather than coldly wait for him in the parking lot with all the other husbands’ spouses.
While waiting, she pondered their on again-off again marriage. She pondered how they may have wed for all the wrong reasons – civic duty, family obligation, even social expectations – but certainly not true love. Still, she pondered the importance of honoring her wedding vows, trying to work things out in their relationship, and reconciling their differences. Again.

Everything would eventually be OK, she confidently told herself, and someday she would be able to handle her guilt, sadness, and sense of loss for following her head and not her heart. Someday, she assured herself, those emotions would finally fade away, like a bad accident in her car’s rearview mirror.
As her husband’s plane landed and passengers began exiting, Melinda reminded herself that she had plenty of other meaningful human connections in her life, including two children, countless friends, and a loving extended family. One such connection is with her brother, which has conquered the test of time, she fondly recalled. Several years ago when her brother and his wife expected their first child, the baby died one week before delivery. Melinda’s brother called her and for the next hour the two siblings said nothing to each other — they just remained on the line for each other in silence.  They didn’t need to say anything. They just needed to share in that pain. Someday, she quietly told herself, she’ll share a similar relationship with her husband. Someday, they’ll share a connection that’s blanketed in love and trust, not hurt and pain. Someday.

Finally, her husband appeared at the top of the escalator. He saw her. She saw him. Their eyes met. Her heart raced. And he immediately gave her a half-hearted smile – the one he keeps for her in his back pocket, the one that conveys politeness not warmth, the one that comes distilled of any passion. Melinda knew that smile all too well. She loathed it. Yet, as so many spouses do, she instinctively returned it back to him. Her shoulders shrugged. Her heart dipped. Her hope faded. She knew right there that there would be no warm embrace like she imagined. There would be no tight hugs like she had dreamed. There would be no passionate kisses, like she had rehearsed in her mind. No, he simply exhaled and slowly descended toward her.

This was the precise moment when Melinda experienced the epiphany of a “missed connection” in her young life. This is when she found out that a missed connection can be just as powerful as a cherished connection, like with her brother. This is when she realized that a missed connection can oh-so-easily crystallize into a life-long regret. And, unlike the arriving and departing airplanes that circled above Melinda that day, these regrets have a way of staying grounded for years, even decades, through the fog of despair, the storm of misgivings, or the blizzard of routine habits.

This is when she exhaled, forced a fake smile, and thought to herself, “I’m at the wrong airport waiting for the wrong person.”

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