Stress at the DMV: Why Less Power Means More Stress

In general, a person who has less relative power is under greater stress –
especially in personal and societal relationships—than someone who has greater relative power. Someone with greater relative power (depending on personality, cultural upbringing, the present situation), will generally have less reason to fear fallout from negative interactions than someone one with less power.

If you are in a position of power (or even if you aren’t), and have trouble imagining how those with less power feel, think of your last trip to the DMV or the Post Office (or any dealings you may have had with the IRS).

Now do you remember what it feels like to have less relative power? Think about the long lines and the unintelligible forms you have to fill in that seemed designed to trip you up! Think about the sheer amount of time you have to spend attending to these bureaucratic requirements. In these and other taxpayer-funded agencies the citizen has almost no power relative to the public employees whose salaries they pay.

In these situations, people you have had no previous relationship with, i.e. government bureaucrats, have been granted an incredible amount of control over your ability to travel or communicate with others or simply control over your time and the money you’ve earned! They are in power, you are not.

The Healthy Self – Humility, Belief, and Control

How we handle stress is due in large part to how healthy our sense of self is. A healthy sense of self exhibits

1. a balanced blend of humility and confidence
2. a respect for others and self-respect
3. an awareness of one’s own strengths—and acknowledgment of one’s weaknesses
4. resolve to accept what can’t be changed—with ourselves , others, and the world— as well as a dedication to improving oneself.

This is a tall order and no one is perfect. But it is essential that we all try to work on this balance if we are to have healthy relationships and a sense of meaning in our lives—two key factors in helping us cope with inevitable stress.

Life (and Stress) After Therapy

Have you finished therapy or treatment for mental health or addiction? Are you asking yourself, “What next”? Do you feel a bit like you’ve jumped out of a plane and aren’t sure if the parachute will work? Or worse, aren’t even sure where the ripcord is?

If this sounds like how you feel, you may not have received a written aftercare plan from your therapist. One of the surprising failures of therapy or treatment is that some therapists (together with their patients—this is important), don’t write a cohesive, supportive aftercare plan. Just as a therapist should work together with you on a written treatment plan in order to help therapy focus on your treatment goals, they should also work together with you on a brief, but relevant plan for when you are done with therapy. Having a plan will help you manage the stress of “going out on your own”.