How do you live with Stress?

I just started writing my calendar for the next three months. It should cause panic because there wasn’t enough lines for all the to-dos. But I’m not freaking out or having tunnel vision. My palms aren’t sweaty and my heart isn’t racing. My life should feel like a roller coaster right? No, I’m not on prescription medication. The focus has to change how I love with stress. It’s a challenge each and every day to balance life today. As I speak to families across America, families are struggling. There are so many factors that we feel “have to make us happy.” And when we don’t have “it” then we are unhappy, stressed, anxious, and so much more. The best way I can related our lives is we want to live a movie of happiness.

Amazing Love

By Guest Blogger: Rick Zapf
How much do you love your teenager? We are called each day by the world religions to love each other but when it comes down to it how much do you love your teenager? I mean how much could you love them when your teenager shows up late for their curfew again? How much can you love when they put another dent in your car or are asking for more money? How much can you love them when they are doing things that you don’t approve of?
Parenting is not an easy job! And yes it feels like a job often because of the stresses involved with raising a teenager. If you aren’t there yet because you have younger children you know your current stress level now. The more parents I talk with they tell me parenting my child was so much easier than now as a teenager.
But parents it is our job to model the behavior we are seeking.
Ask yourself these questions…

HELPING THOSE AROUND YOU

“Welcome aboard Flight 222. As we prepare to take off, we will be showing you some of the safety features. Should a change in cabin pressure occur oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling – PUT YOUR MASK ON FIRST BEFORE HELPING THOSE AROUND YOU!”

If you have ever taken a flight in an airplane this message during the pre-flight is all too familiar. But as parents with young children or teenagers, we do not take care of ourselves first. I had a parent just today ask me again, “What can I do when I’m stressed out with my teenager’s behaviors and actions?” I smiled knowing she was a one glass a night red wine drinker – “What, one glass isn’t enough these days?”

But think about it, what did you do this last week or even today for yourself? Parents try to take care of everything and everybody else, but not themselves. Even I myself am guilty. In the other room is a perfectly good treadmill that hasn’t seen my feet for months. But what do you do for yourself? Sure, unwinding with a good television show might be tempting, but what is a healthier choice? What choices can you make that will give you some lasting change?

So let’s look at 5 ways to help…

Rick Zapf – How To Deal With Your Teens – Episode #21

Rick Zapf is an author, speaker, father, family therapist, and Teen Communication Consultant in Boerne, Texas. Rick has worked with teenagers and their families over the past decade helping parents and teenagers effectively navigate the teenage years. In 2009, Rick released “How to Get Your Teen to Listen: A Guidebook to Effective Communication and Parenting” and “How 2 Talk 2 Teens: A Workbook to Successful Communication” (2nd edition) to help parents better understand and communicate with their teenagers. Rick’s diverse background, use of technology, unique humor, and love of social networking gives him the chance to connect with teenagers on their level. Rick presents himself in an open and honest way that teenagers respond and truly listen to.

Teenagers need the continued support of parents and adults to help them during this awkward stage. Rick has encouraged parents to step-up to parenting their teenager. “When your teenager was an infant, you had to carry around a diaper bag to be ready for their needs. As they grew you thought they needed you less – THEY NEED MORE! Parenting a teen doesn’t have to be difficult!”. Instantly, I knew Rick was the right guy to cover this topic for StopStressingNow.Com. So it’s with great pleasure that I introduce to you our newest guest blogger… Mr. Rick Zapf, MS

Rules of Engagement: Battle Plans with your Teenager

“You see Rick, I pick my battles with my teenager. If I didn’t…”

Let me stop you right there! Raising a teenager is NOT – let me repeat – is NOT like picking what you want for lunch or what clothes you should wear for the day! Raising a teenager takes consistency. Unfortunately, parents today are spread too thin. Parents are having to juggle way too much in less and less time. But if you have this battle plan where you pick your parenting moments you are setting yourself up for defeat.

Consistency means if you make a rule or boundary, you follow through with the rewards and the consequences. Now, an important factor though in making the rule or boundary is your teenager has to be invested and involved. That’s what I love about family therapy – everyone is involved because everyone is affected. Teenagers have to feel invested in their outcomes or you will hear, “You still treat me like a child” or “when will you…” When I have asked teens about rules and boundaries they look at me – “I pretty much do what I want… I get away with murder… if my parents only knew.” I have worked quite extensively with families with teenagers to try something different. In “How to Get Your Teen to Listen: A Guidebook to Effective Communication and Parenting” I explain how teens respond better to positive praise and choices.

What Makes Change So Difficult?

You know when it comes to change, people become stuck and rightfully so! You have been doing something for quite some time now and had been successful. You may feel as an expert but more often than not our eyes are not open to just what we have gotten ourselves into. When I work with families, the difficulty arises in change by first in taking a step back and surveying what is happening. What ruts have developed in your family patterns? When you are living life – minute by minute – you do not give yourself the ability to do a self check. Frustrated parents say, “I just thought it could work again this time.” When I point out to families the brick wall they keep running into I ask, I plead –

STOP HURTING YOURSELF & YOUR FAMILY!

Introducing Rick Zapf, MS

Rick Zapf is an author, speaker, father, family therapist, and Teen Communication Consultant in Boerne, Texas. Rick has worked with teenagers and their families over the past decade helping parents and teenagers effectively navigate the teenage years. In 2009, Rick released “How to Get Your Teen to Listen: A Guidebook to Effective Communication and Parenting” and “How 2 Talk 2 Teens: A Workbook to Successful Communication” (2nd edition) to help parents better understand and communicate with their teenagers. Rick’s diverse background, use of technology, unique humor, and love of social networking gives him the chance to connect with teenagers on their level. Rick presents himself in an open and honest way that a teenagers respond and truly listen to.

Teenagers need the continued support of parents and adults to help them during this awkward stage. Rick has encouraged parents to step-up to parenting their teenager. “When your teenager was an infant, you had to carry around a diaper bag to be ready for their needs. As they grew you thought they needed you less – THEY NEED MORE! Parenting a teen doesn’t have to be difficult!”. Instantly, I knew Rick was the right guy to cover this topic for StopStressingNow.Com. So it’s with great pleasure that I introduce to you our newest guest blogger… Mr. Rick Zapf, MS.