Is your Therapy Working?

How do you really know if your therapy is working?

Good question huh?

Therapy that works is a two way street. Both you and the therapist are team mates. And it takes a serious commitment on both parts to make sometimes difficult changes in behavior or thinking patterns that you have established over a life time.

It’s always a good idea to discuss with your therapist just what you would like the outcome of your counseling to be. Talk about realistic time frames for reaching realistic goals and agree on how you will measure your progress as you travel down the path of wellness.

Remember to be completely open and honest with your therapist and try your best to establish a solid foundation of communication. Often, this requires an elusive “chemistry” between both of you in which you feel comfortable with your counselor’s personality, approach and style. However, keep in mind that your therapist is not going to be a friend so to speak. They are there to guide you down the path. I like to think of them as a “Tour Guide”. If after the first the first few sessions you are not feeling the “communication chemistry”, I advise that you look for another counselor with whom you will feel more comfortable, open and honest.

Finding the right therapist is only the first step. The real challenge is in understanding in such an emotional state just how effective his or her therapy is for you.

Here are some signs I think are important to look for:

Keep in mind that it’s really up to you to make the changes in your life. In other words… You have to work at it.  An effective counselor can help pinpoint the obstacles in your way. But you have to help by being a good communicator. A good therapist can spot what’s going on and help suggest behavioral changes so you can overcome them. If you find certain obstacles you face involve factors beyond your control, you “Tour Guide” can teach you coping skills that will foster your well being in trying circumstances.

An effective therapist is really good at spotting negative thinking patterns that may be feeding your feelings of sadness, depression or anxiety. By encouraging you to muster up the personal strengths you need and teaching you real skills that really work, you can overcome self-inflicted feelings of hopelessness. Before you know it, you’ll develop a more positive attitude and outlook on life.

You will learn how to make positive changes in your relationships with others, helping you recognize behaviors that may be contributing to a troublesome relationship. A good therapist will teach you new ways of communicating, clearing the way for honest exchanges with people in your life who may be causing you emotional pain.

The best way to spot a great therapist is when they make you think about things or in ways that you never have before. Therapy is not a fast or easy solution. However, if you stick with it, in the end you will feel personal growth that empowers you to control your life and enjoy positive, life-affirming relationships with the people you care most about.