How do you live with Stress?

I just started writing my calendar for the next three months. It should cause panic because there wasn’t enough lines for all the to-dos. But I’m not freaking out or having tunnel vision. My palms aren’t sweaty and my heart isn’t racing. My life should feel like a roller coaster right? No, I’m not on prescription medication. The focus has to change how I love with stress. It’s a challenge each and every day to balance life today. As I speak to families across America, families are struggling. There are so many factors that we feel “have to make us happy.” And when we don’t have “it” then we are unhappy, stressed, anxious, and so much more. The best way I can related our lives is we want to live a movie of happiness.

Former CIA Sonia M.Gallagher – Episode #31

Sonia M. Gallagher is a lawyer, former CIA agent, has worked at the Hague International Court. She has a degree in psychology and found herself at an early age fascinated by the human mind and behavior. As a political analysis for the CIA she became an expert in body language. What are people really thinking? What nonverbal information can you gather just by reading the nonverbal cues our bodies are revealing? How can you use this information at work, in your relationships and at home in your personal life? All this and more with Sonia M. Gallagher on this episode.

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How To Cope With Being Passed Over For Promotion

Have you recently been passed over for promotion? Seeing a peer being offered advancement opportunities while your career seems stuck in a rut can be an unpleasant experience. This is especially true when you consider your skill set and commitment to be equal to (or better than) that of your promoted coworker. Coping with the emotional fall out of this situation requires objective self examination and good communication. Stressing out about your capabilities and worth isn’t effective either so the best thing to do is find out what happened and get feedback.

Talking to Your Boss

Storming into your manager’s office and demanding an explanation for why you weren’t chosen is a bad idea for obvious reasons. Someone who can’t stay in control of their emotions isn’t ready for additional responsibilities. On the other hand, trying to figure out “what went wrong” all on your own is a sure way to become paranoid and depressed. So, it is OK to talk to your boss about how the decision to promote a peer was reached – once you have calmed down. Here’s an example of a respectful way you can talk to your boss that may shed some light on what’s holding you back in terms of your career:

Elder Caregivers Need Policies and Benefits to Change with Times

Many of today’s workers are faced with a stressful caregiving situation as their parents become more and more dependent. Even if you don’t have an aging parent living with you, there’s a good chance you could be “on call”. Mom may fall and break her hip while she’s home alone; Dad might have a memory lapse and be found wandering the streets. As the emergency contact, you’re the one who is asked to come and sort things out.

If a health issue is ongoing, FMLA may kick in. This provides you with legally protected (but unpaid) leave to care for an ill family member if you work for a company with 50+ employees. However, when you pitch in to care for a mother or father in-law FMLA does not apply. So far, the law hasn’t caught up with the realities of elder caregiving. It’s up to employers to decide when and if emergency time off will be granted or if you will be fired for attendance violations.

Some Employers Have a Double Standard

Many employers seem to have a compassionate attitude about parents having to leave the office suddenly when a dependent child needs them. Part of this has to do with a wariness of being accused of discriminating against women. After all, it’s still usually Mom who gets the call to deal with a child-related emergency – even if both parents work.

However, employers don’t always view the elder caregiving relationship as a serious commitment. Apparently, they figure you can just get someone else to step in and take care of an emergent need. Unlike in the UK, there is currently no law protecting U.S. employees’ right to put family first in these situations. Employees can’t afford to wait for the law to catch up – they need to start negotiating for changes in the workplace now.

Contrarian Investing

Would you consider purchasing a fireplace in the peak of summer or an air conditioner in the dead of winter? Would you invest in a sale even if you did not have an immediate use for the product you are purchasing? Do you place value on the things you get at a discounted rate?

The summertime almost always presents an opportunity for people to invest. It is a quiet period because most individuals are focused on spending money and having fun. Businesses tend to slow down and they offer significant incentives to attract new clientele. Most companies are focused on maintaining relevance, marketing and promotions. It’s a great opportunity for networking and seeking out new relationships. Investment of time and money can produce great rewards if strategically planned.

As a singer, songwriter or other creative artist, the summertime is the best time to work on your visibility and ability to earn significant money promoting your ministry and/or product. While everyone else is vacationing, you should be working diligently making connections, attending events and yes, even selling your product out of the trunk of your car. Going into non-traditional places for exposure will give you a chance to book your calendar for the remainder of the year.

Top 5 Reasons Men Cheat

Many of my callers both on my radio show and on my relationship advice line have wanted to know why men cheat. Tiger Woods, former presidential candidate John Edwards and Kobe Bryant are but a few of the high profile men who have cheated. But you don’t have to be rich and famous to have this problem. It has nothing to do with money. In fact, the simple truth is that many men cheat because of the adventure it creates from an otherwise boring or routine life.

Recently, while having lunch with a dear friend of mine the topic of “Why men cheat” came up in our conversation. He is a private detective and told me that 90% of his clients today are spouses who are suspicious of a mate that is cheating. I was shocked when he told me that if a spouse is truly suspicious in their heart of hearts that the other is cheating, they are usually 95% correct. He has investigated thousands of cases over the past 25 years. So I began an investigation of my own and looked into the top 5 reasons your hubby or significant other might be on the prowl.

Top 5 Ways To Combat Loneliness

We all are force to combat loneliness at some point in our lives. It’s just human nature. The truth about dealing with loneliness is that it can be a very delicate balancing act. Sometimes you have to sit at home and face it, but sometimes you have to go out and try to meet people. It’s takes effort on your part and that’s where most people have a problem with combating loneliness.

I get a lot of email asking me what can a person do to help rid themselves of loneliness and feel more integrated into our world. What they are really searching for is how to rid themselves of the isolation they feel in their lives. It’s a growing problem in our world. Especially since the advent of the internet. Now people hardly have to leave their homes. We can do our banking online. Pay our bills online. Order food online. Have relationships online. Visit with our family and friends around the globe online, all without even having to leave the house.

Deep Secrets

It started in January of this year with an article I wrote here called “The Secrets We Keep”.
Sort of as an after thought at the end of the article I put a link to my telephone advice service.

Normally, I get calls from great people who are having typical issues we all as people face. Things like panic attacks, problems with stress at home or work and/or having relationship troubles. Normal people with normal life challanges who just need someone to talk with about them. That was the concept of the project from the beginning.

However, I never dreamed what would begin to happen once I posted that article about secrets on Jan 8th of this year. People began calling me to reveal their deepest, inner most secrets. Secrets they couldn’t tell anyone. Secrets that in some cases were killing them inside for more than 50 years as was the case with one caller. When this person was 8 years old, they accidentally set fire to their home killing their baby brother. They never confessed. Today, in their late 60’s it still haunts them everyday.

Top 5 Worst First Date Mistakes

One of the worst relationship mistakes which, unfortunately, is quite popular today, is believing that one should be a completely open book to one’s partner or prospective partner. While being honest to one’s partner is positive, some people fail to realize that honesty does not mean giving their partners every single detail of their lives. Although this can create unnecessary jealousy and resentment, it can go even further. People who develop this habit fail to realize that people are intended to have some degree of privacy. This includes certain experiences from one’s past and personal life, as well as thoughts and feelings. While people who make this mistake often believe that it encourages communication, it usually backfires. “Telling all,” and prodding one’s partner to do the same, strips away the essential sense of privacy which every person needs for himself or herself. Another destructive relationship mistake covers those who are not familiar enough with the concept of a “personal life.” In order for a relationship to be strong and healthy, it is essential to not “invite” other people into it. Unfortunately, many people do not understand that by sharing personal details about their relationships with their friends or family members they are actually weakening the relationship.

Healthy Hearts See Glass Half Full

Studies show that individuals with a positive outlook on life tend to have effective coping skills, which help them make the best out of unfortunate and unexpected situations. This ability to see the ‘silver lining’ may be the key to protecting your heart in stressful situations.

Glass Half Empty

A study of patients with heart disease followed for six to 10 years found that those with pessimistic beliefs about their recovery were twice as likely to die during that timeframe as those who felt more optimistic.

Duke University Medical Center conducted psychological assessments on 2,825 patients hospitalized for heart disease.

During the study, patients were asked to describe their expectations about their ability to recover from their illness and regain a normal life. After follow up five to 10 years later, 978 of the patients died, with 66% dying of heart disease.

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