Drs. Birnbach & Hyman – Reality Test For Marriage – Episode #37

A controversial look at whether a marriage can be saved—or if it’s “time to go.”

For the millions caught in unhappy marriages, consumed by sadness, anger, and fear, the question haunts: “Should I divorce?” Now, in their insightful new book, a husband-and-wife team of marriage experts helps readers find the answer by taking them through ten steps to determine if their relationship has reached the breaking point.
While Drs. Birnbach and Hyman do not advocate divorce, they point out that the most desirable situation—a happy long-term marriage—may simply not be possible in some cases. The book also discusses how the lives of people who stay in chronically unhappy marriages compare with those who split up. Filled with poignant case studies, cutting-edge research, and a 100-question self-assessment to determine if it’s “time to go,” this unique guide dispels the myths about divorce and enables readers to recognize if there is still hope . . . or if they (and their families) are better off apart.

Jealousy

We all know someone who is consumed by jealousy. Nothing pleases them and as time goes on they find their jealous emotions turning to hate, then anger and shortly thereafter rage. Jealousy is a toxic emotion that eats at that person from the inside out.

I like to think of it as a type of cancer. Cancer consumes it’s host on an ever expanding quest ignorant of the fact that eventually it will lead to it’s own demise. Simply put, jealousy can be a dangerous combination of fear and anger.

A top therapist recently explained it to me this way:

“When a person is consumed with jealousy they fear losing someone they value and become angered that this person of value is actually moving on with their life without them. The jealous person feels a deep sense of ownership and then betrayal. Forced to face their own demons they become jealous in an attempt to prevent the loss and justify their feelings. If the jealousy eventually turns to control or a sort of power struggle, this is a RED FLAG that their are serious underlying issues that need to be addressed.”