How do you live with Stress?

I just started writing my calendar for the next three months. It should cause panic because there wasn’t enough lines for all the to-dos. But I’m not freaking out or having tunnel vision. My palms aren’t sweaty and my heart isn’t racing. My life should feel like a roller coaster right? No, I’m not on prescription medication. The focus has to change how I love with stress. It’s a challenge each and every day to balance life today. As I speak to families across America, families are struggling. There are so many factors that we feel “have to make us happy.” And when we don’t have “it” then we are unhappy, stressed, anxious, and so much more. The best way I can related our lives is we want to live a movie of happiness.

Top 5 Reasons Men Cheat

Many of my callers both on my radio show and on my relationship advice line have wanted to know why men cheat. Tiger Woods, former presidential candidate John Edwards and Kobe Bryant are but a few of the high profile men who have cheated. But you don’t have to be rich and famous to have this problem. It has nothing to do with money. In fact, the simple truth is that many men cheat because of the adventure it creates from an otherwise boring or routine life.

Recently, while having lunch with a dear friend of mine the topic of “Why men cheat” came up in our conversation. He is a private detective and told me that 90% of his clients today are spouses who are suspicious of a mate that is cheating. I was shocked when he told me that if a spouse is truly suspicious in their heart of hearts that the other is cheating, they are usually 95% correct. He has investigated thousands of cases over the past 25 years. So I began an investigation of my own and looked into the top 5 reasons your hubby or significant other might be on the prowl.

Top 5 Worst First Date Mistakes

One of the worst relationship mistakes which, unfortunately, is quite popular today, is believing that one should be a completely open book to one’s partner or prospective partner. While being honest to one’s partner is positive, some people fail to realize that honesty does not mean giving their partners every single detail of their lives. Although this can create unnecessary jealousy and resentment, it can go even further. People who develop this habit fail to realize that people are intended to have some degree of privacy. This includes certain experiences from one’s past and personal life, as well as thoughts and feelings. While people who make this mistake often believe that it encourages communication, it usually backfires. “Telling all,” and prodding one’s partner to do the same, strips away the essential sense of privacy which every person needs for himself or herself. Another destructive relationship mistake covers those who are not familiar enough with the concept of a “personal life.” In order for a relationship to be strong and healthy, it is essential to not “invite” other people into it. Unfortunately, many people do not understand that by sharing personal details about their relationships with their friends or family members they are actually weakening the relationship.

What, Me Worry?

Many therapists are seeing growing numbers of people struggling with anxiety about how America’s (and the world’s), problems are affecting them.

Floods. Hurricanes. Tsunamis. Earthquakes. Volcanoes (both with pronounceable and unpronounceable names). Drought. Violence. Crime. Terrorism. Suicide Bombers. War. Child Soldiers. Oil Spills. Global Warming. Global Cooling. Disease. Epidemics. Autism. Learning Disabilities. Physical Disabilities. Poverty. Hunger. Economic Downturn. Unemployment. Job Instability. Debt. Bills. Abuse. Infidelity. Arguments. Divorce. Bullying. Traffic. (And the Loneliness. Sadness. Depression. Worry. Fear. Anxiety associated with them).

These are some of the topics many therapists are hearing about lately.

Stress at the DMV: Why Less Power Means More Stress

In general, a person who has less relative power is under greater stress –
especially in personal and societal relationships—than someone who has greater relative power. Someone with greater relative power (depending on personality, cultural upbringing, the present situation), will generally have less reason to fear fallout from negative interactions than someone one with less power.

If you are in a position of power (or even if you aren’t), and have trouble imagining how those with less power feel, think of your last trip to the DMV or the Post Office (or any dealings you may have had with the IRS).

Now do you remember what it feels like to have less relative power? Think about the long lines and the unintelligible forms you have to fill in that seemed designed to trip you up! Think about the sheer amount of time you have to spend attending to these bureaucratic requirements. In these and other taxpayer-funded agencies the citizen has almost no power relative to the public employees whose salaries they pay.

In these situations, people you have had no previous relationship with, i.e. government bureaucrats, have been granted an incredible amount of control over your ability to travel or communicate with others or simply control over your time and the money you’ve earned! They are in power, you are not.

Amazing Love

By Guest Blogger: Rick Zapf
How much do you love your teenager? We are called each day by the world religions to love each other but when it comes down to it how much do you love your teenager? I mean how much could you love them when your teenager shows up late for their curfew again? How much can you love when they put another dent in your car or are asking for more money? How much can you love them when they are doing things that you don’t approve of?
Parenting is not an easy job! And yes it feels like a job often because of the stresses involved with raising a teenager. If you aren’t there yet because you have younger children you know your current stress level now. The more parents I talk with they tell me parenting my child was so much easier than now as a teenager.
But parents it is our job to model the behavior we are seeking.
Ask yourself these questions…

The Healthy Self – Humility, Belief, and Control

How we handle stress is due in large part to how healthy our sense of self is. A healthy sense of self exhibits

1. a balanced blend of humility and confidence
2. a respect for others and self-respect
3. an awareness of one’s own strengths—and acknowledgment of one’s weaknesses
4. resolve to accept what can’t be changed—with ourselves , others, and the world— as well as a dedication to improving oneself.

This is a tall order and no one is perfect. But it is essential that we all try to work on this balance if we are to have healthy relationships and a sense of meaning in our lives—two key factors in helping us cope with inevitable stress.

How To Be An Optimist

Personally, I have always strive to see the glass completely full. As I see it, it’s half full with wine and half full of air! But not everyone is that way.

With cherry blossoms blooming, baseball season starting, and the stock market hovering near 11,000, it’s impossible not to feel a little extra spring in your step. Heck, even our President is beaming with the passage of health reform and hints of job growth. So, perhaps this is as good a time as any to revel in optimism or, at least, nurture positive-thinking if you’re a glass-half-empty kind of person.

Need more convincing?

A recent study published in Psychological Science found that those with more optimistic attitudes had better-functioning immune systems which, in turn, helped them ward off illnesses. Yet far too many of us assume that optimism is an inborn trait bestowed on a lucky few. That’s a completely wrong assumption, says a top professor of psychology at University Of Nevada Las Vegas.

Can people learn to be optimists?

The answer is an indisputable YES,” says the professor.

A Quick Depression Quiz

Are you depressed?

Do you feel down?

Did you know that: 25 percent of adults will have a major depressive episode at some point?

It’s just a part of life. It’s human nature.

However, most people don’t realize that depression is bad for your heart health, memory and more.
With all of the economic troubles in the world today, sadly TV commercials for every antidepressant known to man have become a part of our modern culture. In a recent study, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention looked at 2.4 billion drugs prescribed in visits to doctors and hospitals in 2005.

Of those, 118 million were for antidepressants.

Why?

HELPING THOSE AROUND YOU

“Welcome aboard Flight 222. As we prepare to take off, we will be showing you some of the safety features. Should a change in cabin pressure occur oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling – PUT YOUR MASK ON FIRST BEFORE HELPING THOSE AROUND YOU!”

If you have ever taken a flight in an airplane this message during the pre-flight is all too familiar. But as parents with young children or teenagers, we do not take care of ourselves first. I had a parent just today ask me again, “What can I do when I’m stressed out with my teenager’s behaviors and actions?” I smiled knowing she was a one glass a night red wine drinker – “What, one glass isn’t enough these days?”

But think about it, what did you do this last week or even today for yourself? Parents try to take care of everything and everybody else, but not themselves. Even I myself am guilty. In the other room is a perfectly good treadmill that hasn’t seen my feet for months. But what do you do for yourself? Sure, unwinding with a good television show might be tempting, but what is a healthier choice? What choices can you make that will give you some lasting change?

So let’s look at 5 ways to help…

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