I have to admit… I’ve been stressing way too much. When it comes down to it, I just can’t help it! I mean what else can I do? If this sounds like yourself you are not alone. I over stress too and even dropped the ball about writing this article. I was even going to change careers to change my stress. But guess what… the too much stressing didn’t change my future it only made me ill. It took me taking a step back from the chaos and realizing just what damage I was doing to myself. I had to practice what I preached.
Here are five instant stress relievers, in no particular order…
1. Humor—Simple but foolproof. If you can poke a bit of fun at your stressful situation or your reaction to it, you’ll find you can diffuse a lot of the tension. If you can’t, Google some jokes and find one or two that tickle your funny bone.
2. Music—Studies have shown that listening to music that mirrors a depressed mood actually can lift a person out of symptoms of depression. However, when overloaded and stressed out, it is best to listen to whatever music you find soothing. If it has a slow beat (with or without percussion), even better. The beat will entrain your heart and slow down your pulse! Five minutes ought to do the trick.
I just started writing my calendar for the next three months. It should cause panic because there wasn’t enough lines for all the to-dos. But I’m not freaking out or having tunnel vision. My palms aren’t sweaty and my heart isn’t racing. My life should feel like a roller coaster right? No, I’m not on prescription medication. The focus has to change how I love with stress. It’s a challenge each and every day to balance life today. As I speak to families across America, families are struggling. There are so many factors that we feel “have to make us happy.” And when we don’t have “it” then we are unhappy, stressed, anxious, and so much more. The best way I can related our lives is we want to live a movie of happiness.
Tweet I want to introduce you to our newest guest blogger. Dr. Eboni J. Baugh, Ph.D., CFLE She is an assistant professor of family life at the University of Florida. With both a masters degree and a PhD in marriage and family therapy, she has thousands of contact hours with individuals, couples, and families on [...]
In general, a person who has less relative power is under greater stress –
especially in personal and societal relationships—than someone who has greater relative power. Someone with greater relative power (depending on personality, cultural upbringing, the present situation), will generally have less reason to fear fallout from negative interactions than someone one with less power.
If you are in a position of power (or even if you aren’t), and have trouble imagining how those with less power feel, think of your last trip to the DMV or the Post Office (or any dealings you may have had with the IRS).
Now do you remember what it feels like to have less relative power? Think about the long lines and the unintelligible forms you have to fill in that seemed designed to trip you up! Think about the sheer amount of time you have to spend attending to these bureaucratic requirements. In these and other taxpayer-funded agencies the citizen has almost no power relative to the public employees whose salaries they pay.
In these situations, people you have had no previous relationship with, i.e. government bureaucrats, have been granted an incredible amount of control over your ability to travel or communicate with others or simply control over your time and the money you’ve earned! They are in power, you are not.
By Guest Blogger: Rick Zapf
How much do you love your teenager? We are called each day by the world religions to love each other but when it comes down to it how much do you love your teenager? I mean how much could you love them when your teenager shows up late for their curfew again? How much can you love when they put another dent in your car or are asking for more money? How much can you love them when they are doing things that you don’t approve of?
Parenting is not an easy job! And yes it feels like a job often because of the stresses involved with raising a teenager. If you aren’t there yet because you have younger children you know your current stress level now. The more parents I talk with they tell me parenting my child was so much easier than now as a teenager.
But parents it is our job to model the behavior we are seeking.
Ask yourself these questions…
How we handle stress is due in large part to how healthy our sense of self is. A healthy sense of self exhibits
1. a balanced blend of humility and confidence
2. a respect for others and self-respect
3. an awareness of one’s own strengths—and acknowledgment of one’s weaknesses
4. resolve to accept what can’t be changed—with ourselves , others, and the world— as well as a dedication to improving oneself.
This is a tall order and no one is perfect. But it is essential that we all try to work on this balance if we are to have healthy relationships and a sense of meaning in our lives—two key factors in helping us cope with inevitable stress.
“Welcome aboard Flight 222. As we prepare to take off, we will be showing you some of the safety features. Should a change in cabin pressure occur oxygen masks will drop from the ceiling – PUT YOUR MASK ON FIRST BEFORE HELPING THOSE AROUND YOU!”
If you have ever taken a flight in an airplane this message during the pre-flight is all too familiar. But as parents with young children or teenagers, we do not take care of ourselves first. I had a parent just today ask me again, “What can I do when I’m stressed out with my teenager’s behaviors and actions?” I smiled knowing she was a one glass a night red wine drinker – “What, one glass isn’t enough these days?”
But think about it, what did you do this last week or even today for yourself? Parents try to take care of everything and everybody else, but not themselves. Even I myself am guilty. In the other room is a perfectly good treadmill that hasn’t seen my feet for months. But what do you do for yourself? Sure, unwinding with a good television show might be tempting, but what is a healthier choice? What choices can you make that will give you some lasting change?
So let’s look at 5 ways to help…
Richard Zwolinski, LMHC, CASAC is the author of Therapy Revolution: Find Help, Get Better, and Move On (Without Wasting Time or Money), and Therapy Soup. He is a nationally and internationally licensed psychotherapist and anxiety and addiction specialist with over 25 years experience. He is writing patient rights and therapist ethics regulations for New York State, serves on the Ethics Committee of the NY Licensed Mental Health Counselors Association, and volunteers with at-risk youth. Richard encourages everyone to stay emotionally, physically, and spiritually aware and healthy so they can live the happy, productive, meaningful lives they were meant to live.
Rick Zapf is an author, speaker, father, family therapist, and Teen Communication Consultant in Boerne, Texas. Rick has worked with teenagers and their families over the past decade helping parents and teenagers effectively navigate the teenage years. In 2009, Rick released “How to Get Your Teen to Listen: A Guidebook to Effective Communication and Parenting” and “How 2 Talk 2 Teens: A Workbook to Successful Communication” (2nd edition) to help parents better understand and communicate with their teenagers. Rick’s diverse background, use of technology, unique humor, and love of social networking gives him the chance to connect with teenagers on their level. Rick presents himself in an open and honest way that teenagers respond and truly listen to.
Teenagers need the continued support of parents and adults to help them during this awkward stage. Rick has encouraged parents to step-up to parenting their teenager. “When your teenager was an infant, you had to carry around a diaper bag to be ready for their needs. As they grew you thought they needed you less – THEY NEED MORE! Parenting a teen doesn’t have to be difficult!”. Instantly, I knew Rick was the right guy to cover this topic for StopStressingNow.Com. So it’s with great pleasure that I introduce to you our newest guest blogger… Mr. Rick Zapf, MS